If you watched the debate last night, you were sure to get an earful of "Joe the Plumber." All in all, he was mentioned over two dozen times by both McCain and Obama. So who, you may wonder, is this "Joe the Plumber?" Apparently, he is real, his name is Joe Wurzelbacher, and he is a plumber. Some stats:
- 34 year old male
- Resident of Holland, Ohio
- Works for Newell Plumbing and Heating Co.
- Registered to vote as Samuel Joseph Worzelbacher- which is wrong
- Plays football in the front yard with his son
In news unrelated to "Joe," McCain opened the debate by giving a shout out to Nancy Reagan. She fell the other day and fractured her pelvis. She is also homies with John McCain. The pundits gave him a point for that one. Roland Martin, in fact, was playing fast and loose with the points last night. He gave 50+ positive points to Obama alone. David Gergen, on the other hand, fell asleep after the first five minutes. John King was busy downloading more iTunes.
McCain went as far as telling America that nobody likes taxes so "Let's not raise anybody's taxes, Ok?" That's cool. I don't know anybody that likes taxes either. But I do know people who like things like funding for education and roads and other such necessary programs. I want to know where McCain is going to get the money to fund programs without raising taxes or at least keeping them the same. Seriously Johnny Boy, where are you going to come up with this money for these so-called helpful programs if you stop taxing people? Oh, Oh, I know, I know- we can just print more paper or borrow it from China! Yeah, China loves to loan us money. Once again I will say that it is a really good thing we have a strong military so that China doesn't hop over the ocean and try to take their money back.
I mean, we already have a $455 BILLION deficit- that is expected to be over $1 TRILLION next year- so why not add a few more billion, no one will notice. McCain does think he can balance the budget in four years. He was all like, "What, like it's hard?" (to quote Legally Blonde 2). He plans to do this while ending dependence on Middle Eastern and Venezuelan oil and unleashing plans to fix the economy and capture Osama Bin Laden all in his first term. Canadian oil is apparently ok- I think becasue the Canadians don't hate us. Obama never got a chance to answer the budget balancing question but he does take a more realistic approach on ending American dependency on foriegn oil as he thinks it will probably take ten years.
The healthcare issue is a debacle. Both plans are weird and probably won't work. McCain said he was a federalist and believes that decisions on alot of stuff should be left up to the states. Maybe he should write some new Federalist Papers to try to convince people of his views- hey, it worked before. Obama is apparently pro-abortion. I'm sorry but pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion. Once again, I don't know anyone who wakes up in the morning thinking-hey, let's go kill some babies today. McCain thinks judges should be confirmed based on qualifications not political leanings. Last I checked, judges weren't supposed to have political leanings. My dad isn't even allowed to put a school board candidates sign in the front yard. Obama is guilty by association- didn't you know he hangs out with shady people, or at least people who did shady things when he was 8. McCain had an angry moment. Obama did his best not to laugh at times- even when John McCain was going on and on about how proud he was of Sarah Palin... you would have thought she was his child or something.
Obama managed to not say one negative thing about Sarah Palin though. Even when asked directly if he thought she is qualified to be President. McCain referenced Biden wanting to split Iraq into three countries when answering the same question. I think McCain needs a world history lesson. Iraq (and most of the Middle Eastern countries) is only a country because after WWII, the US and its Allies said it world be. The ethnic groups hate each other and always have. Hey, I have a novel idea- why don't we let the people of Iraq decide how many countries they want to be? That might just work.
McCain also wants to start or expand some Troops to Teachers program where members of the military could be teachers without completing certification or state testing requirements. Ugh...that can be another story for another day. Now I must go home and hope that the cake I baked last night somewhat resembles what I left it as.
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