Friday, October 31, 2008

One movie I guess I won't be seeing

Leave it to Utah to decide for me that I do not want to be morally corrupted. One of the larger movie theater chains in the state has apparently banned the movie "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" from its screens. You can read the story here if you so desire. Following lead, many other movie theaters are also not showing the movie and some TV stations won't advertise it. I find this pretty ridiculous how the movie is not a porno, doesn't show a porno, and is apparently void of any pornographic material. The rationale was the movie was very close to receiving an NC-17 rating. It did not, it is, in fact, rated R- a perfectly respectable film rating. I have been watching R rated movies since I was 10- I haven't turned into a pyschopath, a sex fiend, or a drug adict.

I guess during the showing of High School Musical 3- a neatly packaged, G rated, Disney movie- some movie theater worker guy reeled up the wrong movie and subjected the audience of children to the movie "Sex Drive" for a few minutes. Since then everyone has been in a moral tizzy. Well:

Dear Utah,
The laziness/stupidty/mistake of one theater working high school student is not my fault. Are you meaning to tell me that none of the adults in the room thought something was wrong when the previews were for other R rated movies instead of sugar pop, Disney ones? Maybe the parents of said HSM3 viewing children should have been more aware to the fact that, right before the movie began, a rating flashed on the screen saying the following movie is rated R please remove your impressionable, young children from the theater.

It is really my choice as to what movies I want to watch- whether it be a cute little Disney flick or a movie about two roommates making a porno- yeah, up to me to decide- I am a grownup, thanks! Here is a thought, if you don't want the young and impressionable to wonder into an R rated movie- look at their IDs when they buy the tickets. Not too difficult, I used to do it all the time. Or even better, show the morally lacking films later in the evening when said young and impressionable should be snuggled nicely into their little, sheltered beds.

Isn't it enough that the Salt Lake City NBC station will not carry Saturday Night Live? I guess TV-14 is too scandalous for late night television. I mean, you carry all those daytime soaps. But then again, I guess daytime soaps fall under the realm of fiction. Once again, I am a grownup and I am fully capable of choosing my own television programs. You really must think people in this state are dumb if you think one little late night show is going to indoctrinate them with crazy ideas.

And while we are at it, was it really necessary to ban Mike's Hard Lemonade? Does it really look that much like Sprite? Is the under 21 crowd in Utah that stupid? Can parents not tell the difference? Do they mistakenly give their kids Malt Liquor instead of juice? Again- not my fault. Please do not punish my tailgate party due to the stupidity of others. I mean, I guess I could border jump to Idaho for all my tailgate needs. But then again, I am rarely in the mood for getting arrested for rum running- which I hear you do often.

On the other hand- maybe I should thank you, morally decent Utah, for saving my mind from corruption. Good luck repairing it from the last 27 years.

Sincerely Yours,
The Apparently Morally Deficient

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