With Ice Butt sufficiently conquered, this past weekend I met a new foe- Señor Chairlift! Let's recap:
Take 1: Make it sufficiently off the lift and out of the way before falling
Take 2: Coast off the lift- no one is around to see
Take 3: Coast off the lift and around the corner before falling on my face
Take 4: Coast off the lift- no one is around to see
Take 5: Wait too long to put snowboard onto the snow, fall on butt immediately, whip head back and crack it on the ice. Chairlift Dude comes out to make sure I am not dead and still know my name. Dr. HokieKev laughs.
Take 6: Overcompensate by putting snowboard down too early, hold onto Señor Chairlift as not to fall to a certain death (okay...fall a foot, but still), almost recover before falling, fail to duck, get hit in the head with the chair. Chairlift Dude comes out to make sure I am okay. This time he tells me what I did wrong. Dr. HokieKev laughs.
Take 7- Snowboard down at the right time. SPLAT! Duck! Dr. HokieKev laughs.
On the plus side, I made it down the mountain 7 times in 3 hours. HUGE improvement!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Because all the Cool Kids are Doing it
Since three people have "tagged" me on Facebook, I caved and decided to do this little ditty. So without further ado:
25 Random Things About Me
1. I can't stand turtlenecks. I blame this on my mother who used to dress me in Osh Kosh B'Gosh turtlenecks everyday when I was little. Crew necks are semi tolerable if they do not come up to high. V Necks are highly preferable.
2. Sometimes when I hit snooze on the alarm and fall back asleep between buzzes, I dream that I am getting up, showering, and getting dressed. I am usually awoken by Dr. HokieKev dragging me out of bed as I protest that I am, in fact, dressed and ready to go.
3. Dazed and Confused is my favorite movie ever- since the 8th grade. The first time I watched it was with my mom and my middle school best friend. I have never smoked marijuana in my whole life. I also like to watch cheesy movies on Disney and ABC Family- mostly because they require no thought.
4. I often tease Dr. HokieKev for not being a "real doctor" but I am really proud of him for being a "fake doctor."
5. I hold grudges against people I don't know. I am pretty quick to forgive those I do know. I realize that said grudges are not productive in anyway.
6. I desperately want my house to look like a page from a magazine. We have too much clutter to make this happen but I am working on it.
7. I still have two boxes of my childhood stuffed animals in the closet. It took me 27 years to get rid of the other 6 boxes. I think there are two more at my parents' house.
8. I want to write a textbook on American history or maybe the teaching of American history. I want it to be practical and not boring. I have no idea how to go about starting this process.
9. I think I am a pretty intelligent individual. I hate it when people underestimate me because I am a girl with blond hair and big boobs. I like to prove these people wrong.
10. I am in a sorority. Parts of me are very "sorority girl" however, most parts are not.
11. I firmly believe every individual should have to take a class on the proper placement of the comma. I tend to be somewhat of a grammar nazi. Along these lines, I proofread blogs many times over and sometimes go back and edit them days after they have been posted. It distresses me that many people do not care how they come across in formal (or informal) writing.
12. Cooked vegetables disgust me. Cooked celery is the worst. The only cooked vegetables I will eat are potatoes, corn, and spinach.
13. I really want a pair of knee high, black, hooker boots. My calf muscles are too big to pull off this look. They always have been.
14. I hate it when people are intolerant of others. I am a big believer in being able to do what you want with your life as long as you are not harming others. And by harming others, I don't mean threatening their traditions or questioning their beliefs. Closemindedness annoys me.
15. I rarely leave the house without make-up. I rarely put make-up on when I have nowhere to go. I usually don't take the time to do my hair. It takes too long and ends up flat anyway.
16. I only read the first three chapters of The Great Gatsby and The Scarlett Letter and Wuthering Heights. There are also MANY other books that I never read, yet successfully completed book reports for. Sometimes, I regret this and vow to go back and read these books. Then I realize that I really don't like American Lit, or British Lit for that matter. I did read The Stranger and I liked it. I also like Edgar Allen Poe and Louis Carroll.
17. In a former life, I was an American History teacher. I do not watch the History Channel. I also don't like biographies of most traditionally historic figures. In fact, I don't usually enjoy reading books about history. Unless they are interesting or slightly subversive.
18. Sometimes, I like to pretend I am Martha Stewart, or the Ace of Cakes, or the Iron Chef. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it is an EPIC FAIL! I try to take pictures either way.
19. I am very good at halfway completing projects around the house. I still need to hang pictures that have recently been framed. And paint over holes the previous owners left. And organize several rooms. And post pictures going back to November. I also need to finish my college scrapbook- and my high school scrapbook for that matter.
20. I registered for a drill when Dr. HokieKev and I got married. I love my drill. I can also fix a toilet.
21. I am not a morning person. In my former life as a teacher, school started at 7:40 in the am. I was pretty good at faking it- most days. Delay days were my favorite as I did not have to resemble awake until 10:30.
22. I like learning about other cultures and religions. This does not make me culturally diverse or religious. I am ok with that.
23. I took four years of French in high school. I can't write it. I can't speak it. I can understand it to a point. I think I could make my way around- if the people giving directions spoke slowly or wrote it down. The only sentence I can say in Spanish is "Where is the library?" My mother taught me that. I really want to learn to speak Italian.
24. I am addicted to reading blogs. If you have a blog and I know about it, I am most likely reading it. I have a few blogs bookmarked- they are written by people I don't know. Most have to do with decorating.
25. I was in Show Choir in High School. I can sing well. I do not sing in public. I can also dance. I am told my dancing abilities surprise people.
I am also supposed to tag 25 more people to do this. I don't think 25 people read this. I tagged people on Facebook.
25 Random Things About Me
1. I can't stand turtlenecks. I blame this on my mother who used to dress me in Osh Kosh B'Gosh turtlenecks everyday when I was little. Crew necks are semi tolerable if they do not come up to high. V Necks are highly preferable.
2. Sometimes when I hit snooze on the alarm and fall back asleep between buzzes, I dream that I am getting up, showering, and getting dressed. I am usually awoken by Dr. HokieKev dragging me out of bed as I protest that I am, in fact, dressed and ready to go.
3. Dazed and Confused is my favorite movie ever- since the 8th grade. The first time I watched it was with my mom and my middle school best friend. I have never smoked marijuana in my whole life. I also like to watch cheesy movies on Disney and ABC Family- mostly because they require no thought.
4. I often tease Dr. HokieKev for not being a "real doctor" but I am really proud of him for being a "fake doctor."
5. I hold grudges against people I don't know. I am pretty quick to forgive those I do know. I realize that said grudges are not productive in anyway.
6. I desperately want my house to look like a page from a magazine. We have too much clutter to make this happen but I am working on it.
7. I still have two boxes of my childhood stuffed animals in the closet. It took me 27 years to get rid of the other 6 boxes. I think there are two more at my parents' house.
8. I want to write a textbook on American history or maybe the teaching of American history. I want it to be practical and not boring. I have no idea how to go about starting this process.
9. I think I am a pretty intelligent individual. I hate it when people underestimate me because I am a girl with blond hair and big boobs. I like to prove these people wrong.
10. I am in a sorority. Parts of me are very "sorority girl" however, most parts are not.
11. I firmly believe every individual should have to take a class on the proper placement of the comma. I tend to be somewhat of a grammar nazi. Along these lines, I proofread blogs many times over and sometimes go back and edit them days after they have been posted. It distresses me that many people do not care how they come across in formal (or informal) writing.
12. Cooked vegetables disgust me. Cooked celery is the worst. The only cooked vegetables I will eat are potatoes, corn, and spinach.
13. I really want a pair of knee high, black, hooker boots. My calf muscles are too big to pull off this look. They always have been.
14. I hate it when people are intolerant of others. I am a big believer in being able to do what you want with your life as long as you are not harming others. And by harming others, I don't mean threatening their traditions or questioning their beliefs. Closemindedness annoys me.
15. I rarely leave the house without make-up. I rarely put make-up on when I have nowhere to go. I usually don't take the time to do my hair. It takes too long and ends up flat anyway.
16. I only read the first three chapters of The Great Gatsby and The Scarlett Letter and Wuthering Heights. There are also MANY other books that I never read, yet successfully completed book reports for. Sometimes, I regret this and vow to go back and read these books. Then I realize that I really don't like American Lit, or British Lit for that matter. I did read The Stranger and I liked it. I also like Edgar Allen Poe and Louis Carroll.
17. In a former life, I was an American History teacher. I do not watch the History Channel. I also don't like biographies of most traditionally historic figures. In fact, I don't usually enjoy reading books about history. Unless they are interesting or slightly subversive.
18. Sometimes, I like to pretend I am Martha Stewart, or the Ace of Cakes, or the Iron Chef. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it is an EPIC FAIL! I try to take pictures either way.
19. I am very good at halfway completing projects around the house. I still need to hang pictures that have recently been framed. And paint over holes the previous owners left. And organize several rooms. And post pictures going back to November. I also need to finish my college scrapbook- and my high school scrapbook for that matter.
20. I registered for a drill when Dr. HokieKev and I got married. I love my drill. I can also fix a toilet.
21. I am not a morning person. In my former life as a teacher, school started at 7:40 in the am. I was pretty good at faking it- most days. Delay days were my favorite as I did not have to resemble awake until 10:30.
22. I like learning about other cultures and religions. This does not make me culturally diverse or religious. I am ok with that.
23. I took four years of French in high school. I can't write it. I can't speak it. I can understand it to a point. I think I could make my way around- if the people giving directions spoke slowly or wrote it down. The only sentence I can say in Spanish is "Where is the library?" My mother taught me that. I really want to learn to speak Italian.
24. I am addicted to reading blogs. If you have a blog and I know about it, I am most likely reading it. I have a few blogs bookmarked- they are written by people I don't know. Most have to do with decorating.
25. I was in Show Choir in High School. I can sing well. I do not sing in public. I can also dance. I am told my dancing abilities surprise people.
I am also supposed to tag 25 more people to do this. I don't think 25 people read this. I tagged people on Facebook.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
If This is What it Takes...
I have been trying to sign up for and pay for one class for the last week and a half. ONE CLASS! In the process, I have had to visit the registrar three times, admissions once, and human resources once. I finally got it taken care of today- I think. This letter/rant is dedicated to the jerkface at the registrar's office who is apparently too cool to do his job.
Dear Registrar Jerkface,
You are lucky you did not get a stiletto up your nose today. Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I could kick your ass from here to next Tuesday. Is it really that hard to process my request the first time I come to visit you? I mean, maybe I stuttered but really, how hard is it to hear "my husband is a full time, contracted, tenure track professor. Do you need his ID number?" Really that is all the information you should have needed to process my tuition waiver. Please do not tell me that we are not married. I beg to differ. If we are not married, whose socks have I been picking up off the floor for the last four and a half years?
Also, I know how to tell time. I have known this since I was what...six? Please do not tell me that I have notwasted my life away waited in line for over 30 minutes because, yes, between last week and today I have stood in your stupid line for almost 45 minutes to get the same ONE thing taken care of. I guess you don't think I have better things to do. Well, let us get this straight- I do. The papers will not grade themselves, the student teachers will not observe themselves, the book will not read itself, the grocery shopping will not do itself, and well, you get the picture.
There was also no need to smirk and talk to me like I was three. If you want to judge me for signing up for graduate classes, go right ahead. I am sorry you are living in 1954 where women are expected to stay home with the kiddos while Daddy goes off to work. What a lovely picture, you can go watch it on TV Land as I hear they are still airing The Dick Van Dyke Show. I, for one, don't have any kiddos running around. And that is beside the point anyway. I am a fairly intelligent individual and am pretty confident that I could handle at least one class, work, and kiddos (and I could probably also manage to wrangle said kiddos up in the Wal-Mart parking lot so as they do not get run over). Maybe that is because my husband, the aforementioned tenure track professor, is capable of fixing said future kiddos dinner (even if it is just grilled cheese, or macaroni and cheese, or crackers and cheese, or some other cheese related meal) and entertaining them for a couple hours once a week. But then again, you would probably judge him too. Your snarky tone did nothing but tick me off. It did not discourage me from signing up for a class. I am also fairly confident that I could out-snark you anyday. You would leave in tears, probably pulling a stiletto out of your nose.
I hope you enjoy your work study job sitting in the window at the registrar's office. And I also hope that my little form declaring that I am married to my husband- the man with the SAME last name living at the SAME address as I- gave you a paper cut.
Sincerely,
The girl that wears stilettos in the snow
P.S. It is amazing that, the second I got to speak with her, the real live grownup at the next window was able to take care of this little problem in a fairly expedited way.
Dear Registrar Jerkface,
You are lucky you did not get a stiletto up your nose today. Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I could kick your ass from here to next Tuesday. Is it really that hard to process my request the first time I come to visit you? I mean, maybe I stuttered but really, how hard is it to hear "my husband is a full time, contracted, tenure track professor. Do you need his ID number?" Really that is all the information you should have needed to process my tuition waiver. Please do not tell me that we are not married. I beg to differ. If we are not married, whose socks have I been picking up off the floor for the last four and a half years?
Also, I know how to tell time. I have known this since I was what...six? Please do not tell me that I have not
There was also no need to smirk and talk to me like I was three. If you want to judge me for signing up for graduate classes, go right ahead. I am sorry you are living in 1954 where women are expected to stay home with the kiddos while Daddy goes off to work. What a lovely picture, you can go watch it on TV Land as I hear they are still airing The Dick Van Dyke Show. I, for one, don't have any kiddos running around. And that is beside the point anyway. I am a fairly intelligent individual and am pretty confident that I could handle at least one class, work, and kiddos (and I could probably also manage to wrangle said kiddos up in the Wal-Mart parking lot so as they do not get run over). Maybe that is because my husband, the aforementioned tenure track professor, is capable of fixing said future kiddos dinner (even if it is just grilled cheese, or macaroni and cheese, or crackers and cheese, or some other cheese related meal) and entertaining them for a couple hours once a week. But then again, you would probably judge him too. Your snarky tone did nothing but tick me off. It did not discourage me from signing up for a class. I am also fairly confident that I could out-snark you anyday. You would leave in tears, probably pulling a stiletto out of your nose.
I hope you enjoy your work study job sitting in the window at the registrar's office. And I also hope that my little form declaring that I am married to my husband- the man with the SAME last name living at the SAME address as I- gave you a paper cut.
Sincerely,
The girl that wears stilettos in the snow
P.S. It is amazing that, the second I got to speak with her, the real live grownup at the next window was able to take care of this little problem in a fairly expedited way.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Life Lesson #3974- The Peanut Butter Will Not Kill You
I like Peter Pan peanut butter- it is pretty much the only peanut butter that I like. Skippy is gross and JIF will not do. But once again, my peanut butter has been yanked from the shelves due to a supposed poisoning. Some of us remember this unfortunate incident:
___________________________________________________________________
October 7, 2007
I really miss Peter Pan peanut butter :-( For those of you that do not remember, it was recalled in February after an unfortunate incident with a leaky sprinkler and an outbreak of salmonella. Shortly thereafter, they pulled the creamy goodness that was Peter Pan peanut butter from grocery store shelves all over the country. I, like many others, rushed to my pantry to determine whether or not I had any potentially deadly peanut butter and, much to my dismay, discovered that I did. Well, the entire process to claim my three dollar refund seemed way too time consuming at the time and, since I was only losing out on about three bucks, I decided I would just throw it away.....eventually. Well, eventually never came. And then one day.......the rice cakes came calling.....”top me with peanut buttery goodness.” So, now I had a decision to make- eat the diseased peanut butter and risk a horrible stomach ache from salmonella or let my butter popcorn rice cakes go naked. I guess I could have gone to the store and bought some new, non diseased peanut butter but that would mean potentially getting dressed and venturing into the night (this could have been an afternoon episode but it was months ago and I do not remember). Salmonella/Instant Gratification....hmmmm......Instant Gratification!!! So, I ate the peanut butter....in fact, I ate two whole jars of the peanut butter! (Not at the same time, but eventually) I half expected to be making a midnight run to the emergency room to have my stomach pumped, but that didn't happen. In fact, I was fine but little did I know that would be the last Peter Pan peanut butter I would eat, possibly forever :-( For the last seven months I have had to live with second rate peanut butter on my rice cakes. All I have to say is....choosy moms should never choose JIF. It is HORRIBLE!!! I would rather take my chances with salmonella! So, I did the only thing I could think of, I wikipediaed Peter Pan....because we all know that if it is on wikipedia then it MUST be true....and was very happy to see it would be returning in August to a grocery store near me. Well....its October and still no sign of the stuff.
Dear whoever makes Peter Pan peanut butter,
Please give me back my peanut butter with the androgynous little sprite on the front. I miss it and Skippy and JIF are just not the same. I promise I will not sue you if I get salmonella.
Thanks!
Now before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I would never feed diseased peanut butter to my children. Had I had any, I would have bought them fresh, new, choosy moms peanut butter free of salmonella, e. coli, mad cow, smallpox, scurvy, cholera, and dysentery. But I was pretty confident my immune system could handle it.
___________________________________________________________________
My distress ended when my friend Mona overnighted me some delicious Peter Pan peanut butter thus preventing me from having to stomach the nonsense that is JIF. And then we moved to Utah and apparently they hadn't yet gotten the memo that peanut butter was off the FDA's "Foods That Will Kill You" list and I once again had trouble finding my brand. After about a month of living here, I finally found some at Target of all places. Eventually, it filtered back to the grocery stores and my rice cakes had a cromulent (Wikipedia=true, remember?) companion, until now- damn salmonella. I guess I will have to make another trip to the closest Target- 30 minutes away- and hope they have not yet gotten the memo that Reduced Fat Creamy Peter Pan Peanut Butter is once again deadly!
___________________________________________________________________
October 7, 2007
I really miss Peter Pan peanut butter :-( For those of you that do not remember, it was recalled in February after an unfortunate incident with a leaky sprinkler and an outbreak of salmonella. Shortly thereafter, they pulled the creamy goodness that was Peter Pan peanut butter from grocery store shelves all over the country. I, like many others, rushed to my pantry to determine whether or not I had any potentially deadly peanut butter and, much to my dismay, discovered that I did. Well, the entire process to claim my three dollar refund seemed way too time consuming at the time and, since I was only losing out on about three bucks, I decided I would just throw it away.....eventually. Well, eventually never came. And then one day.......the rice cakes came calling.....”top me with peanut buttery goodness.” So, now I had a decision to make- eat the diseased peanut butter and risk a horrible stomach ache from salmonella or let my butter popcorn rice cakes go naked. I guess I could have gone to the store and bought some new, non diseased peanut butter but that would mean potentially getting dressed and venturing into the night (this could have been an afternoon episode but it was months ago and I do not remember). Salmonella/Instant Gratification....hmmmm......Instant Gratification!!! So, I ate the peanut butter....in fact, I ate two whole jars of the peanut butter! (Not at the same time, but eventually) I half expected to be making a midnight run to the emergency room to have my stomach pumped, but that didn't happen. In fact, I was fine but little did I know that would be the last Peter Pan peanut butter I would eat, possibly forever :-( For the last seven months I have had to live with second rate peanut butter on my rice cakes. All I have to say is....choosy moms should never choose JIF. It is HORRIBLE!!! I would rather take my chances with salmonella! So, I did the only thing I could think of, I wikipediaed Peter Pan....because we all know that if it is on wikipedia then it MUST be true....and was very happy to see it would be returning in August to a grocery store near me. Well....its October and still no sign of the stuff.
Dear whoever makes Peter Pan peanut butter,
Please give me back my peanut butter with the androgynous little sprite on the front. I miss it and Skippy and JIF are just not the same. I promise I will not sue you if I get salmonella.
Thanks!
Now before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I would never feed diseased peanut butter to my children. Had I had any, I would have bought them fresh, new, choosy moms peanut butter free of salmonella, e. coli, mad cow, smallpox, scurvy, cholera, and dysentery. But I was pretty confident my immune system could handle it.
___________________________________________________________________
My distress ended when my friend Mona overnighted me some delicious Peter Pan peanut butter thus preventing me from having to stomach the nonsense that is JIF. And then we moved to Utah and apparently they hadn't yet gotten the memo that peanut butter was off the FDA's "Foods That Will Kill You" list and I once again had trouble finding my brand. After about a month of living here, I finally found some at Target of all places. Eventually, it filtered back to the grocery stores and my rice cakes had a cromulent (Wikipedia=true, remember?) companion, until now- damn salmonella. I guess I will have to make another trip to the closest Target- 30 minutes away- and hope they have not yet gotten the memo that Reduced Fat Creamy Peter Pan Peanut Butter is once again deadly!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Revenge of Ice Butt
Thursday night, the ski mountain that is closest to us had a special night for USU Employees to raise money for some scholarships. Dr. HokieKev was out of town so I headed up to the mountain with my friend Jennifer and her husband, Tristan. Lessons were only $5 so I saw this as a good time to work on my less than mad snowboarding skills without having to pay Snowboard Dude another almost 100 bucks to watch me fall on my butt.
This time I thought I prepared a little better. I found some pants that were nice and baggy and came up higher on my waist. I wore gloves that were easier to pull off and put back on. I even left the face mask and all the extra gear I ended up taking off the last time at home. So we get there and we start our lesson. Luckily, not too many people wanted to learn to snowboard at 6:30 so it was just the three of us and the instructor (again, try to make sure instructor is not high- this may not always be possible). We worked on a couple of things I had learned last time and I managed to only fall once- improvement. After a little practice, we made it over to the lift which promptly decided to stop working. Luckily, there is a tiny little hill by the lift that we could walk up and practice our newly acquired skills until the lift started to work again.
Once the lift began to work, Tristan, Snowboard Dude 2, and I went up to the top to test our newly acquired mad snowboard skills. Jenn decided that maybe she is a sit by the pool kind of girl as well and stayed at the bottom to await our safe return. So we get up to the top and Snowboard Dude 2 was nice enough to get off the lift with me and hold on to me so I wouldn't face plant. And let me tell you, I had a death grip. So I made it off the lift in one piece, pants fully intact. Once we got to the top of the trail, we strapped on our boards and Snowboard Dude 2 was nice enough to help me up so we could get going. This time I did alot better. I fell a few times but Snowboard Dude 2 would come up and help me up, so that was less frustrating that last time. I would follow Tristan's snowtrail which somehow made it easier to concentrate and not fall. By then the lesson was over and well worth the $5 that was spent.
We decided we should make a couple more trips up the lift as to get the full benefit from the $12 lift tickets and our first task would be convincing Jenn she wouldn't die. After about 20 minutes, we were able to convince her that Tristan loved her and wouldn't let her die on the mountain. I also tried to bribe her with hot cocoa. She finally gave in after Tristan strapped her foot in the boot and pulled her onto the lift! Nothing like a little coercion to get you to the top of the mountain.
In the end, I ended up coming down the mountain four times and only falling about 10 times. Now, 10 times may seem like alot but you have to compare it to the first snowboaring experience when I fell every two feet. You also have to take into consideration that a couple times I fell on purpose because my legs just needed a rest and once I fell because some girl stuck her ski pole under my snowboard causeing both of us to flail down the mountain.
Overall, I considered this trip a success. That is, until I sat down to take my boots off and realized that Ice Butt had returned.
This time I thought I prepared a little better. I found some pants that were nice and baggy and came up higher on my waist. I wore gloves that were easier to pull off and put back on. I even left the face mask and all the extra gear I ended up taking off the last time at home. So we get there and we start our lesson. Luckily, not too many people wanted to learn to snowboard at 6:30 so it was just the three of us and the instructor (again, try to make sure instructor is not high- this may not always be possible). We worked on a couple of things I had learned last time and I managed to only fall once- improvement. After a little practice, we made it over to the lift which promptly decided to stop working. Luckily, there is a tiny little hill by the lift that we could walk up and practice our newly acquired skills until the lift started to work again.
Once the lift began to work, Tristan, Snowboard Dude 2, and I went up to the top to test our newly acquired mad snowboard skills. Jenn decided that maybe she is a sit by the pool kind of girl as well and stayed at the bottom to await our safe return. So we get up to the top and Snowboard Dude 2 was nice enough to get off the lift with me and hold on to me so I wouldn't face plant. And let me tell you, I had a death grip. So I made it off the lift in one piece, pants fully intact. Once we got to the top of the trail, we strapped on our boards and Snowboard Dude 2 was nice enough to help me up so we could get going. This time I did alot better. I fell a few times but Snowboard Dude 2 would come up and help me up, so that was less frustrating that last time. I would follow Tristan's snowtrail which somehow made it easier to concentrate and not fall. By then the lesson was over and well worth the $5 that was spent.
We decided we should make a couple more trips up the lift as to get the full benefit from the $12 lift tickets and our first task would be convincing Jenn she wouldn't die. After about 20 minutes, we were able to convince her that Tristan loved her and wouldn't let her die on the mountain. I also tried to bribe her with hot cocoa. She finally gave in after Tristan strapped her foot in the boot and pulled her onto the lift! Nothing like a little coercion to get you to the top of the mountain.
In the end, I ended up coming down the mountain four times and only falling about 10 times. Now, 10 times may seem like alot but you have to compare it to the first snowboaring experience when I fell every two feet. You also have to take into consideration that a couple times I fell on purpose because my legs just needed a rest and once I fell because some girl stuck her ski pole under my snowboard causeing both of us to flail down the mountain.
Overall, I considered this trip a success. That is, until I sat down to take my boots off and realized that Ice Butt had returned.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss
I have never been a huge fan of coffee. I will drink it if it is REALLY early or I am REALLY tired or it has a TON of milk and sugar in it. That started in high school when we would have to be at school at 5:30 in the am for show choir trips. That was early- too early. So I would make my way to 7-11 for coffee with a TON of chocolate milk. This was before there was a Starbucks on every corner.
Time passed and Starbucks began to take over the world. I still wasn't a huge fan and I clung to my cheapy 7-11 coffee. Then I met the Starbucks Mocha Latte and my life changed. I found that the Mocha Latte was dependable. Wherever I went (or moved), the Mocha Latte was there. Yes, it was a tad expensive but I guess you pay for the privilege of calling your drink a Grande. I lived for several years in the warm glow of these Mocha Latte's, only straying between Halloween and Christmas to the ever illustrious, and rather tasty Peppermint Mocha. My Mocha Lattes and I were doing just fine. And then I found out the truth.
See, Dr. HokieKev and I went to Seattle this summer. Apparently, coffee lives in Seattle. Or at least has a summer home there. So anyway, we went to Seattle to visit our friends Nilu and Rob and inevitably coffee came up. And Nilu told me the truth about Starbucks. If you like Starbucks, you may want to stop reading as I would hate to ruin it for you. They burn their beans when they roast them. This ensures that all Starbucks coffee tastes the exact same. I guess they don't want you to go to one Starbucks, get a cup of coffee, drink it and then go across the street to another Starbucks and have a different tasting coffee. They have to keep their corporate image. Anyway, ever since this revelation every time I drink my once tasty Mocha Latte, all I taste is burn. And that kind of ruins the experience.
Time passed and Starbucks began to take over the world. I still wasn't a huge fan and I clung to my cheapy 7-11 coffee. Then I met the Starbucks Mocha Latte and my life changed. I found that the Mocha Latte was dependable. Wherever I went (or moved), the Mocha Latte was there. Yes, it was a tad expensive but I guess you pay for the privilege of calling your drink a Grande. I lived for several years in the warm glow of these Mocha Latte's, only straying between Halloween and Christmas to the ever illustrious, and rather tasty Peppermint Mocha. My Mocha Lattes and I were doing just fine. And then I found out the truth.
See, Dr. HokieKev and I went to Seattle this summer. Apparently, coffee lives in Seattle. Or at least has a summer home there. So anyway, we went to Seattle to visit our friends Nilu and Rob and inevitably coffee came up. And Nilu told me the truth about Starbucks. If you like Starbucks, you may want to stop reading as I would hate to ruin it for you. They burn their beans when they roast them. This ensures that all Starbucks coffee tastes the exact same. I guess they don't want you to go to one Starbucks, get a cup of coffee, drink it and then go across the street to another Starbucks and have a different tasting coffee. They have to keep their corporate image. Anyway, ever since this revelation every time I drink my once tasty Mocha Latte, all I taste is burn. And that kind of ruins the experience.
Friday, January 9, 2009
When Dr. HokieKev is away...
Last time Dr. HokieKev went away for more than one day, I decided to refinish some tables. Why not, right? So anyway, my dad gave my mom these table for their 10th Anniversary leading me to believe they were about 15 years old...apparently he got them at an antique store making me wrong about their age. I figured this task wouldn't be so hard as they do it on TV in under an hour all the time (on TV=true, very important to remember). I also decided that, since it was my first foray into furniture refinishing, I would only refinish the tops. This is what they looked like before- the first one was one table pre-sand the second one is the other table, post sand.
Here are the tables mid-way through.
And here they are two coats of stain and two coats of polyerathane later.
Probably not perfect, but I think they turned out pretty well for the first attempt. I won't say it was a hard ordeal because it wasn't, but it was slightly more time consuming then I originally thought. It also took three different kinds of sandpaper. Needless to say, I am a very big proponent of coasters now!
Probably not perfect, but I think they turned out pretty well for the first attempt. I won't say it was a hard ordeal because it wasn't, but it was slightly more time consuming then I originally thought. It also took three different kinds of sandpaper. Needless to say, I am a very big proponent of coasters now!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Life Lesson # 987- How (NOT) to Snowboard
I want to be good at winter sports- I really do. The problem, however, is that I grew up on the water doing nice summery things and never did anything wintery until I was a grownup. Learning to ski when you are 6 is apparently easier than learning when you are 20. The other problem is that, to be good at something, you have to do it more than once a year. The 4 times I have been skiing in 7 years probably does not lead to getting good. And then we moved to Utah...supposedly, Utah has the greatest snow on earth- the license plate says so. Dr. HokieKev and I also have several friends who see going skiing every day as a fun activity. Yesterday, we decided to join them at the ungodly hour of 8 in the am and at the ungodly temperature of -30 degrees F (you read it right, NEGATIVE 30). So we met and made our way up the mountain to the ski area. I hesitate to call it a resort because a resort would have had a spa and I would have ended up there instead of on my butt all day.
I always feel bad when we go skiing. See, Dr. HokieKev knows what he is doing and, while he probably won't be joining the line to try out for the Olympics anytime soon, he is way beyond the green circle slopes which are pretty much at the top of my winter sports range. He wants to zoom down the slopes while I am perfectly content to coast along very slowly and stop (fall) several times along the way. He is pretty patient with me but I know its no fun. I also tend to fall alot on skis- face forward into cold, hard snow. These, along with other, reasons are what tempted me to try snowboarding. I figured I would either be a natural at it or, at the very least, would end up on my butt which has infinitely more padding than my face. And so began the day of discovering how (not) to snowboard. Let me share with you what I have learned.
1. It is well worth the $95 dollars for the two hour lesson. Snowboard Dude will teach you many useful things, like how to strap in your boots and how to get up after you fall on your butt. Try to make sure Snowboard Dude isn't stoned although this may not always be possible.
2. When you fall off the lift, duck. The last thing you need after sprawling yourself on the snow is to be hit in the head with a lift chair. You paid Snowboard Dude good money to pull you to safety.
3. Refrain from wearing those cute, lowrider snowpants. You will spend all day pulling them up as not to flash your cute blue panties to the entire mountain. If you are wearing long underwear, they will come up higher on the waist than said cute snowpants and will end up wet. Since it is -30, the wet will freeze and you will end up with ice butt. Ice butt is not fun. Suck it up and wear the non-cute overall snowpants like your mom used to make you wear to sled down the neighbor's driveway.
4. Nevermind the five year olds zooming past you after you have fallen on your butt for the hundredth time. If you mind them, it will just make you sad that they are all zoomy and you are indeed, on your butt.
5. When you make it down the mountain, sit down before you unstrap your boot. If you don't, you will end up sliding sideways down the bunny slope. You will have to fall to prevent this. Your butt already hurts.
6. Learn to turn the easy way before you start trying to turn the hard way. This is easier said than done.
7. When the lesson is over and you decide it is time for lunch, remember how many times you have fallen and that a frozen butt doesn't feel the pain. When you begin to defrost in the lodge, not only will ice butt melt but you will be reminded that your butt is now one big bruise.
8. Don't try to fancily get off the lift to keep up with your husband. Just go slow. Falling off the lift- again- is not fun. Especially since only one foot is strapped in. The free foot will go flying. If you are lucky, your knee will not twist and your cute, lowrider snowpants will not split down the front. I was not lucky. The only thing worse then ice butt is...well, you get the picture.
9. If necessary, sit in the snow while husband and friend go down the mountain. Maybe by the time they make it up the lift again, you will be ready to head down.
10. When you start to get going, just go with it. No need to scream and fall down- on your butt, once again. All that does is give you another chance to see all those five year olds go zoomy zoomy right by your crashed self.
11. Thank friend for telling you how to fall. Somehow, Snowboard Dude skipped that part. I am probably lucky my wrists are still in tact. (Thanks Chris!)
12. When you get home, first thing- pay attention, this is important- take a painkiller. Trust me, this is important. REALLY important. When you fully thaw, you will hurt. ALOT.
As we went to bed that night I looked over and apologized to Dr. HokieKev for not being good at winter sports. He replied, exact words, "It's okay. I am sure there is something I am not good at- I just haven't found it yet."
In conclusion, I have decided that- while I may brave the mountain again- I am definitely a summer sports kind of girl...or maybe a sit by the pool and sip fruity beverages kind of girl!
PS- It is Tuesday and I still hurt. Surprisingly, not in my legs but everywhere else. I cannot stress enough- Aleve is your friend.
I always feel bad when we go skiing. See, Dr. HokieKev knows what he is doing and, while he probably won't be joining the line to try out for the Olympics anytime soon, he is way beyond the green circle slopes which are pretty much at the top of my winter sports range. He wants to zoom down the slopes while I am perfectly content to coast along very slowly and stop (fall) several times along the way. He is pretty patient with me but I know its no fun. I also tend to fall alot on skis- face forward into cold, hard snow. These, along with other, reasons are what tempted me to try snowboarding. I figured I would either be a natural at it or, at the very least, would end up on my butt which has infinitely more padding than my face. And so began the day of discovering how (not) to snowboard. Let me share with you what I have learned.
1. It is well worth the $95 dollars for the two hour lesson. Snowboard Dude will teach you many useful things, like how to strap in your boots and how to get up after you fall on your butt. Try to make sure Snowboard Dude isn't stoned although this may not always be possible.
2. When you fall off the lift, duck. The last thing you need after sprawling yourself on the snow is to be hit in the head with a lift chair. You paid Snowboard Dude good money to pull you to safety.
3. Refrain from wearing those cute, lowrider snowpants. You will spend all day pulling them up as not to flash your cute blue panties to the entire mountain. If you are wearing long underwear, they will come up higher on the waist than said cute snowpants and will end up wet. Since it is -30, the wet will freeze and you will end up with ice butt. Ice butt is not fun. Suck it up and wear the non-cute overall snowpants like your mom used to make you wear to sled down the neighbor's driveway.
4. Nevermind the five year olds zooming past you after you have fallen on your butt for the hundredth time. If you mind them, it will just make you sad that they are all zoomy and you are indeed, on your butt.
5. When you make it down the mountain, sit down before you unstrap your boot. If you don't, you will end up sliding sideways down the bunny slope. You will have to fall to prevent this. Your butt already hurts.
6. Learn to turn the easy way before you start trying to turn the hard way. This is easier said than done.
7. When the lesson is over and you decide it is time for lunch, remember how many times you have fallen and that a frozen butt doesn't feel the pain. When you begin to defrost in the lodge, not only will ice butt melt but you will be reminded that your butt is now one big bruise.
8. Don't try to fancily get off the lift to keep up with your husband. Just go slow. Falling off the lift- again- is not fun. Especially since only one foot is strapped in. The free foot will go flying. If you are lucky, your knee will not twist and your cute, lowrider snowpants will not split down the front. I was not lucky. The only thing worse then ice butt is...well, you get the picture.
9. If necessary, sit in the snow while husband and friend go down the mountain. Maybe by the time they make it up the lift again, you will be ready to head down.
10. When you start to get going, just go with it. No need to scream and fall down- on your butt, once again. All that does is give you another chance to see all those five year olds go zoomy zoomy right by your crashed self.
11. Thank friend for telling you how to fall. Somehow, Snowboard Dude skipped that part. I am probably lucky my wrists are still in tact. (Thanks Chris!)
12. When you get home, first thing- pay attention, this is important- take a painkiller. Trust me, this is important. REALLY important. When you fully thaw, you will hurt. ALOT.
As we went to bed that night I looked over and apologized to Dr. HokieKev for not being good at winter sports. He replied, exact words, "It's okay. I am sure there is something I am not good at- I just haven't found it yet."
In conclusion, I have decided that- while I may brave the mountain again- I am definitely a summer sports kind of girl...or maybe a sit by the pool and sip fruity beverages kind of girl!
PS- It is Tuesday and I still hurt. Surprisingly, not in my legs but everywhere else. I cannot stress enough- Aleve is your friend.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Just what kind of girl do you think I am...
When I was a senior in high school, my best friend Ramona and I took a trip to North Carolina to visit another friend at his college. Said friend is in a fraternity- we knew we would be going to a couple of parties. We also knew we would be spending our nights in a male dorm with pretty strict rules about overnight visitors of the opposite sex (we ignored these rules and blew up our air mattress right on the floor of his dorm room).
Anyway, after a six hour drive including being pulled over in Emporia, VA for doing 5 miles over the speed limit, seeing renegade horses galloping on a median, and getting lost in Fayetteville, NC- we finally made it to Wingate with our 6 foot tall Gumby doll no worse for the wear. As we were getting ready for the weekend's first party and the boys were off doing something faternity related (and very loud) upstairs, Ramona threw a box of condoms on the bed. Not strange- remember, boys, fraternity parties, no adult supervision. She had a pretty serious boyfriend at the time, I did not. She said she wanted to make sure that I was "safe" should I be put in a situation to need said condoms. Still, not strange. Upon further review, however, I noticed that the box she threw on the bed contained not 3, not 5, not 20, but 100 condoms. ONE HUNDRED!!! We were only there for three days...who needs 100 condoms for three days...that is over one an hour. I promptly asked her what she thought I was planning to do that weekend. She replied with something along the lines of- well, you never know. We both laughed.
This story came to mind yesterday as I was strolling through the aisles at Sam's Club- I thought of it and wondered if these econo packs were sold in Utah. They aren't. You can get your 100 pounds of sugar but not your 100 pack of condoms. Just in case you needed to know...
PS- For the multiple parental units that read this- all 100 condoms were filled with water and used as balloons.
Anyway, after a six hour drive including being pulled over in Emporia, VA for doing 5 miles over the speed limit, seeing renegade horses galloping on a median, and getting lost in Fayetteville, NC- we finally made it to Wingate with our 6 foot tall Gumby doll no worse for the wear. As we were getting ready for the weekend's first party and the boys were off doing something faternity related (and very loud) upstairs, Ramona threw a box of condoms on the bed. Not strange- remember, boys, fraternity parties, no adult supervision. She had a pretty serious boyfriend at the time, I did not. She said she wanted to make sure that I was "safe" should I be put in a situation to need said condoms. Still, not strange. Upon further review, however, I noticed that the box she threw on the bed contained not 3, not 5, not 20, but 100 condoms. ONE HUNDRED!!! We were only there for three days...who needs 100 condoms for three days...that is over one an hour. I promptly asked her what she thought I was planning to do that weekend. She replied with something along the lines of- well, you never know. We both laughed.
This story came to mind yesterday as I was strolling through the aisles at Sam's Club- I thought of it and wondered if these econo packs were sold in Utah. They aren't. You can get your 100 pounds of sugar but not your 100 pack of condoms. Just in case you needed to know...
PS- For the multiple parental units that read this- all 100 condoms were filled with water and used as balloons.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
