Dr. HokieKev and I spent the better part of the 23rd in the air on the way to Hampton (aka- The 757). After driving through a blizzard at 5:30 in the am to get to the Salt Lake airport and wading through millions of little, blond children- yes, millions...you come to Utah, you will see- we settled into our seats for the flight to JFK. Luckily, the plane was not full and we could spread out a little. After arriving at JFK, we hustled through the terminal to the next gate and I went off in search of food. Dr. HokieKev promptly took a seat next to a mother and her 3-ish year old son. When I came back, Dr. HokieKev pointed out that the kid was be boppin to his ipod. 1) What 3 year old needs/has an ipod? 2) What in the world is he listening to? 3) Aren't earbuds dangerous for little kids? But anyway, the kid was cute as he be bopped along. Mom, on the otherhand, looked like she was very taken with herself and her knockoff designer purse. I guess it was good that the kid has an ipod, because mom surely was too wrapped up in her own to pay attention/entertain the child for the hourish layover.
So anyway, at one point mom gets up to check the boards to see when the flight is leaving. She tells the 3 year old to stay in the seats while she walks to the other side of the boarding area. Did I mention the kid was 3...I mean, seriously- you leave your kid in a VERY crowded airport, unattended? This is how kids disappear. Anyway- the kid doesn't listen, and follows her over to the video boards. While all this is happening, two unsuspecting people sit in the now unoccupied seats. When mother and son return, this was the conversation:
Mom: **Head Shimmey** My son and I were sitting there. I just got up to check the board.**Scoff**
Older woman: Sorry, is it just the two of you? There are two seats right there.
Mom:**Scoff** We are NOT sitting in those seats. We were sitting there, get out of our seats.
Older woman: We didn't know. Your stuff was not here.
Mom: **Scoff** I took my stuff with me. Move.
Older woman: So you are in that seat, who is sitting here.
Mom: **Throws purse in seat** MY SON. **Scoff**
At this point the older woman and her husband vacated the seats. The mother then turned to her little boy (3- remember) and said: "Son, that is what we call a bitch!"
It didn't surprise me in the least when she boarded the same flight as Dr. HokieKev and I on the way to Norfolk, VA.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Life Lesson #962- Fathers do not babysit thier children
Today's rant is courtesy of the checkout girl at the grocery store and the parents of the one week old who decided that it was a good time to make "Baby's First Sam's Club" trip in the snowstorm.
So last week I decided to make the trek to the grocery store- in the cold. Not preferable but when you realize the only food in your house is a bunch of basil, a half full jar of mayo, and some taco seasoning something has to be done. After filling my cart with enough supplies to ensure that I will not have to venture back until 2009, I make my way to the checkout. In front of me is a father and a couple of kids- mom is nowhere in site (I say this because it is rare in Utah). So anyway, the checkout girl comments that it is so nice of father to babysit his kids that night. This alone did not strike me as odd but then I realized that I hear this alot. Maybe it is still 1954 out here, but I was under the impression that fathers did not babysit, they parented.
Babysitting implies a temporary situation, usually ending with the exchange of money. Seriously, babysitting is what I did when I was 12. I would go over to someone else's house, watch someone else's kid, order pizza with someone else's money, put someone else's kids to bed, and watch someone else's TV until someone else came home and paid me. For a brief period of time, I suppose I was in charge of keeping their kids safe but this was only temporary and then I could go back to my 90210 watching 7th grade self. Fathers are not babysitters. Yes, it was nice of the father to take the kids out and spend time with them but this is something fathers should be doing. It is kind of part of the job description.
Along a similar note, why on earth would you take your newborn out in a snowstorm? I mean, I get that you need diapers and unimaginable quantities of sugar and chocolate for your holiday treats but did the baby really have to make the journey to Sam's Club? I only say this because the baby in question was accompanied by TWO parents- most definately a situation where one could have stayed home. I get that mom probably wanted to get out of the house- ok, that's cool- let dad stay home. And before you go saying- oh, they were probably young and didn't know better- let me tell you that they were well over the average age to pop out a kid in Utah and either way, should have known better. I guess I should not have been totally shocked at this as I see it all the time. I understand families like to spend time together and that is cool- but wouldn't it be faster and easier for one parent to stay home and hang out with the kiddos while the other one runs the errands. Not only will the errands get accomplished quicker but the stores will not be full of screaming kids who are sick of running errands (The mother who smacked her kid across the face for calling his father a "meany head" is another story entirely.). This will, in turn, led to much more plesant family time. It will also clear up the aisles in Wal-Mart (**shudder**).
So last week I decided to make the trek to the grocery store- in the cold. Not preferable but when you realize the only food in your house is a bunch of basil, a half full jar of mayo, and some taco seasoning something has to be done. After filling my cart with enough supplies to ensure that I will not have to venture back until 2009, I make my way to the checkout. In front of me is a father and a couple of kids- mom is nowhere in site (I say this because it is rare in Utah). So anyway, the checkout girl comments that it is so nice of father to babysit his kids that night. This alone did not strike me as odd but then I realized that I hear this alot. Maybe it is still 1954 out here, but I was under the impression that fathers did not babysit, they parented.
Babysitting implies a temporary situation, usually ending with the exchange of money. Seriously, babysitting is what I did when I was 12. I would go over to someone else's house, watch someone else's kid, order pizza with someone else's money, put someone else's kids to bed, and watch someone else's TV until someone else came home and paid me. For a brief period of time, I suppose I was in charge of keeping their kids safe but this was only temporary and then I could go back to my 90210 watching 7th grade self. Fathers are not babysitters. Yes, it was nice of the father to take the kids out and spend time with them but this is something fathers should be doing. It is kind of part of the job description.
Along a similar note, why on earth would you take your newborn out in a snowstorm? I mean, I get that you need diapers and unimaginable quantities of sugar and chocolate for your holiday treats but did the baby really have to make the journey to Sam's Club? I only say this because the baby in question was accompanied by TWO parents- most definately a situation where one could have stayed home. I get that mom probably wanted to get out of the house- ok, that's cool- let dad stay home. And before you go saying- oh, they were probably young and didn't know better- let me tell you that they were well over the average age to pop out a kid in Utah and either way, should have known better. I guess I should not have been totally shocked at this as I see it all the time. I understand families like to spend time together and that is cool- but wouldn't it be faster and easier for one parent to stay home and hang out with the kiddos while the other one runs the errands. Not only will the errands get accomplished quicker but the stores will not be full of screaming kids who are sick of running errands (The mother who smacked her kid across the face for calling his father a "meany head" is another story entirely.). This will, in turn, led to much more plesant family time. It will also clear up the aisles in Wal-Mart (**shudder**).
Monday, December 15, 2008
Silly Me
I should have bought this Ann Taylor LOFT sweater in every color....
It is cold here and angora keeps you warm. That is all.
It is cold here and angora keeps you warm. That is all.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
A Few More Things...
Well since the first list was apparently not adequate enough- here are a few more items that have been ruminating in my brain.
This book is by my favorite author. I have been reading this series since I was in the 9th grade and I needed a book to do a report on. I scoured my dad's bookshelf and came up with a signed copy of Postmortem. I really liked it so I kept reading the series. I eventually caught up. Lately, she has been putting out a book a year. It takes me a couple hours to read them. I think she needs to write faster.
I have also quickly discovered that it gets really cold here. Mother Nature was teasing us with a few weeks of 55 and a beautiful weekend. She then decided to smack us in the face with a high of 19 on Monday. Her snarkiness necessitates the procurement of warm weather gear. I really need some new leather gloves. The ones I have are about 5 years old and the Thinsulate has worn out. The ones I have are from Target. Target no longer has them. Nordstroms has some fabulous, cashmere liined ones. They are expensive. These are from Ann Taylor LOFT. Again, not too picky about where they come from but they need to be normal glove length, black, and lined with no weird designs, flowers, bedazels, or metal. I am not trying to channel my inner Jacko. They also need to be real leather. Pleather annoys me. I don't care if a cow has to die.
I also need a pink scarf. I have a purple one but sometimes you just need to shake things up a bit. The first one is from Old Navy. It is sweaterweave. The second is from Ann Taylor LOFT. It is cashmere. I already have the first one in purple. The second one is soft.
This book is by my favorite author. I have been reading this series since I was in the 9th grade and I needed a book to do a report on. I scoured my dad's bookshelf and came up with a signed copy of Postmortem. I really liked it so I kept reading the series. I eventually caught up. Lately, she has been putting out a book a year. It takes me a couple hours to read them. I think she needs to write faster.
I have also quickly discovered that it gets really cold here. Mother Nature was teasing us with a few weeks of 55 and a beautiful weekend. She then decided to smack us in the face with a high of 19 on Monday. Her snarkiness necessitates the procurement of warm weather gear. I really need some new leather gloves. The ones I have are about 5 years old and the Thinsulate has worn out. The ones I have are from Target. Target no longer has them. Nordstroms has some fabulous, cashmere liined ones. They are expensive. These are from Ann Taylor LOFT. Again, not too picky about where they come from but they need to be normal glove length, black, and lined with no weird designs, flowers, bedazels, or metal. I am not trying to channel my inner Jacko. They also need to be real leather. Pleather annoys me. I don't care if a cow has to die.
I also need a pink scarf. I have a purple one but sometimes you just need to shake things up a bit. The first one is from Old Navy. It is sweaterweave. The second is from Ann Taylor LOFT. It is cashmere. I already have the first one in purple. The second one is soft.
This is also a fun little gadget. It frothes up milk so you can make lattes and other coffeehouse-esque drinks. I think you could probably also use it to make small amounts of whipped cream or other such things that need to be whipped. The first one is from Bed, Bath, and Beyond and the second is from Restoration Hardware. The one from Restoration Hardware is cheaper (Go Figure!). The one from BB&B is rechargeable.
So there you have a few more Christmas list things. I still hate Christmas lists.
This little breathalyzer looks like it could be fun at parties- however, it is only accurate to .14%. It is also from Restoration Hardware. The supposedly have them with better accuracy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond in key chain form but I could not find it on the website. It is considered subversive in Utah I am sure.
So there you have a few more Christmas list things. I still hate Christmas lists.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Do I really have to...
Making Christmas lists irks me. Seriously, if you pay enough attention to me then you know what types of things I want for Christmas. The concept of writing everything I have seen within the past year that I need in my possession just doesn't appeal to me. Until last year, I hadn't made a Christmas list since I was probably 12 when my sister and I would go through the Sears Toy Book and circle everything we wanted. I honestly don't remember getting anything from those Toy Books ever- well, the Rock Tumbler may have come from there but either way, it did not fulfill its promise of taking the nasty rocks it came with and turning them into perfectly polished pieces of jewelry- so I can't blame my hatred of Christmas lists on always getting what I wanted.
I just don't like Christmas lists. The whole concept negates the surprise on Christmas morning. I have unsuccessfully made this argument for the past several years- well, the past 10 years at least. You write a list, you get exactly what is on the list- where is the surprise. Last year, I gave in under duress. Kevin's mom- we shall call her Diane from here on out since that is her name- so anyway, Diane practically forced me to sit at the table the day after Thanksgiving and write down everything in the Black Friday ads that I saw that I wanted. Duct tape may or may not have been involved. After perusing ad after ad advertising cheap electronics and even cheaper DVDs for over an hour, I came up with a list of about 5 things that Dr. HokieKev and I would like (yes, I put things Dr. HokieKev would like on my Christmas list). That was the best I could do.
This year I tried to force myself to once again look at Black Friday ads- this time online and not under duress- but I just couldn't commit to it. However, people keep asking what I want for Christmas so I guess I should make an at least feeble attempt to placate the masses by posting several "wants" that are floating in my head right now. I guess I am pretty picky and I guess this makes it easier... so here goes.
In the realm of too hard to find because they were on Oprah's favorite things show last year are the Classic Cardy Ugg Boots in Gray- they are not a want but a need. And they need me just as much as I need them. They are too beautiful to sit in a box on a shelf in some warehouse. Too bad Oprah ruined it all. Size 8 please.
We all know that I want either of these three bedding ensembles. We all also know that they cost a whole lot of money. Hmmm...maybe if I start collecting Restoration Hardware gift cards now, I will have enough to buy the bedding sometime decade. I think I like the middle one best- but that changes daily. The third one is from Macy's.
Moving into the realm of entirely too expensive for their function but nevertheless would feel amazing on my freshly cleaned skin are the Turkish Towels from Restoration Hardware. SOOOOOO soft! We do need new towels- preferably 4 towels and 4 large bath sheets- but, even on sale, the Restoration Hardware price is over $200 bucks. The softy, soft towels at Bed, Bath, and Beyond would also fit the bill, however they are only available at the stores. Then again, towels don't really say "Wrap me up for under the tree!" they kinda say "Buy me, its Tuesday!" Either way, I like the color Midnight and I am guessing Dr. HokieKev likes midnight too.
Our house is also in need of an ottoman tray. I didn't really think these would be that expensive- I was wrong. I have been scoping out TJMaxx and Downeast for one to no avail. Anyway, here are some samples. The first is Pottery Barn, second is Restoration Hardware, and third is Crate and Barrel (I think). I am not too picky on this one...just need dark wood- not that pressed and veneer junk as I am slowly trying to rid my home of all things pressed and veneered.
I just don't like Christmas lists. The whole concept negates the surprise on Christmas morning. I have unsuccessfully made this argument for the past several years- well, the past 10 years at least. You write a list, you get exactly what is on the list- where is the surprise. Last year, I gave in under duress. Kevin's mom- we shall call her Diane from here on out since that is her name- so anyway, Diane practically forced me to sit at the table the day after Thanksgiving and write down everything in the Black Friday ads that I saw that I wanted. Duct tape may or may not have been involved. After perusing ad after ad advertising cheap electronics and even cheaper DVDs for over an hour, I came up with a list of about 5 things that Dr. HokieKev and I would like (yes, I put things Dr. HokieKev would like on my Christmas list). That was the best I could do.
This year I tried to force myself to once again look at Black Friday ads- this time online and not under duress- but I just couldn't commit to it. However, people keep asking what I want for Christmas so I guess I should make an at least feeble attempt to placate the masses by posting several "wants" that are floating in my head right now. I guess I am pretty picky and I guess this makes it easier... so here goes.
In the realm of too hard to find because they were on Oprah's favorite things show last year are the Classic Cardy Ugg Boots in Gray- they are not a want but a need. And they need me just as much as I need them. They are too beautiful to sit in a box on a shelf in some warehouse. Too bad Oprah ruined it all. Size 8 please.
We all know that I want either of these three bedding ensembles. We all also know that they cost a whole lot of money. Hmmm...maybe if I start collecting Restoration Hardware gift cards now, I will have enough to buy the bedding sometime decade. I think I like the middle one best- but that changes daily. The third one is from Macy's.
In the realm of entirely too expensive and completely unnecessary are these champagne flutes. I have been in love with them since the second my friend Nilu showed them to me shortly before she got married. Whenever we pass a Swavorski store, I make Dr. HokieKev covet them with me. I do realize, however, that $340 a pair is entirely too expensive to spend on champagne flutes that would seriously never be used. But they are SOOOOO pretty...and sparkly!
Moving into the realm of entirely too expensive for their function but nevertheless would feel amazing on my freshly cleaned skin are the Turkish Towels from Restoration Hardware. SOOOOOO soft! We do need new towels- preferably 4 towels and 4 large bath sheets- but, even on sale, the Restoration Hardware price is over $200 bucks. The softy, soft towels at Bed, Bath, and Beyond would also fit the bill, however they are only available at the stores. Then again, towels don't really say "Wrap me up for under the tree!" they kinda say "Buy me, its Tuesday!" Either way, I like the color Midnight and I am guessing Dr. HokieKev likes midnight too.Our house is also in need of an ottoman tray. I didn't really think these would be that expensive- I was wrong. I have been scoping out TJMaxx and Downeast for one to no avail. Anyway, here are some samples. The first is Pottery Barn, second is Restoration Hardware, and third is Crate and Barrel (I think). I am not too picky on this one...just need dark wood- not that pressed and veneer junk as I am slowly trying to rid my home of all things pressed and veneered.
So now let us venture back to reality- since we have moved to Utah, I have been drinking more wine. It is subverssive and all. Anyway, I never have room in the fridge to chill the bottle or I forget to chill the bottle. This lovely device would probably solve that problem. Again, not too picky- just a single bottle rapid chiller. This wine saver could also be cool. Sometimes you just don't want the whole bottle. The pourer cap could also come in handy.
I also need a new blowdryer. The one I have takes forever and is a contributing factor to why I go to work with seriously staticy hair. This one would do. I just want one that uses ions because they dry hair faster and also has a straight difusser thingee (yes, the techinical term) that looks like it belongs on a vaccumm cleaner. Apparently, this straight diffuser thingee will pump up my roots. The spiky diffuser thing would be a plus I suppose- that is, if I could ever figure out how to use it.
I think I also need at least one of these products because it is so dry here. In fact, I probably need these products by the case. Especially given my propensity to leave
them in my pockets through the dryer. Anyway, I am VERY picky about my Chapstick. NOTHING flavored or smelly. Plain old Chapstick is the way to go. None of that moisterizing crap in the blue tubes...ick! Black tube-all the way! Bert's Bees is good too...nice and beeswaxy. This particular package provides a nice sampling.
The last thing I can think of that I want for Christmas is the Butter Toffee Peanuts from the Virginia Diner. They are totally delish! I fell in love with them in 10th grade when we sold them to raise money to go to the Bahamas for Show Choir. At the time, they also had Double Dipped Chocolate Butter Toffee Peanuts- those were GREAT! Since then, the store has only been selling regular Butter Toffee Peanuts but they are still wonderful and I like them alot.
We also need new pillows- Dr. HokieKev wants the fancy kind. Maybe he will get lucky one day. They have a ton of really nice choices at Macy's. The only thing is that you can't face test a pillow over the internets. This would require going to the store- the closest one is 2 hours away. And it would also involve Dr. HokieKev agreeing to go shopping- I can't pick out his pillow for him. Besides, if we are going to have most beautemous bedding, then we might as well have fluffified pillows. And perhaps a new, King Size down comforter. The one we have now is more double bed sized. With a bigger one, we can stop waking the other up while fighting for the warmth.
So there all you list pushers have a list. I may add to it later. Who knows. I still hate Christmas lists.
I also need a new blowdryer. The one I have takes forever and is a contributing factor to why I go to work with seriously staticy hair. This one would do. I just want one that uses ions because they dry hair faster and also has a straight difusser thingee (yes, the techinical term) that looks like it belongs on a vaccumm cleaner. Apparently, this straight diffuser thingee will pump up my roots. The spiky diffuser thing would be a plus I suppose- that is, if I could ever figure out how to use it.
I think I also need at least one of these products because it is so dry here. In fact, I probably need these products by the case. Especially given my propensity to leave
them in my pockets through the dryer. Anyway, I am VERY picky about my Chapstick. NOTHING flavored or smelly. Plain old Chapstick is the way to go. None of that moisterizing crap in the blue tubes...ick! Black tube-all the way! Bert's Bees is good too...nice and beeswaxy. This particular package provides a nice sampling.
The last thing I can think of that I want for Christmas is the Butter Toffee Peanuts from the Virginia Diner. They are totally delish! I fell in love with them in 10th grade when we sold them to raise money to go to the Bahamas for Show Choir. At the time, they also had Double Dipped Chocolate Butter Toffee Peanuts- those were GREAT! Since then, the store has only been selling regular Butter Toffee Peanuts but they are still wonderful and I like them alot.We also need new pillows- Dr. HokieKev wants the fancy kind. Maybe he will get lucky one day. They have a ton of really nice choices at Macy's. The only thing is that you can't face test a pillow over the internets. This would require going to the store- the closest one is 2 hours away. And it would also involve Dr. HokieKev agreeing to go shopping- I can't pick out his pillow for him. Besides, if we are going to have most beautemous bedding, then we might as well have fluffified pillows. And perhaps a new, King Size down comforter. The one we have now is more double bed sized. With a bigger one, we can stop waking the other up while fighting for the warmth.
So there all you list pushers have a list. I may add to it later. Who knows. I still hate Christmas lists.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Because I know you want to look at my bathrooms...
Since the guest bathrooms are the only two rooms in the entire house that are completely decorated, I will take this time to share. This first group is from the upstairs bathroom. Dr. HokieKev exerted his decorating powers to decide that this room should have light colors since it was so small. I guess he doesn't like claustrophobic bathing spaces. Anyway, it is kind of baby blue and beachy now. I don't mind it. The pictures on the wall are from various vacations. Everything in this bathroom is also new except for the purple fish on the medicine cabinet.
The downstairs bathroom is more my style though- as far as a bathroom can be one's style. It is maroon and black. It also smells alot like apple pie. The pictures on the wall are from our trip to London. Most of the stuff in here I already had, except for the picture frames, candle holders, and candles.
These last two pictures are from the first project Dr. HokieKev and I took on. With all the supposed upgrades in our new house, the showerheads were surprisingly less than mediocre. We figured it would be an easy fix. Six pieces of hardware, a tube of plumbing putty, and three trips to Home Depot later- we have a spalike shower and were finally able to use the last wedding present still in the box. I was able to enjoy it once I washed all the putty off my arms.
The downstairs bathroom is more my style though- as far as a bathroom can be one's style. It is maroon and black. It also smells alot like apple pie. The pictures on the wall are from our trip to London. Most of the stuff in here I already had, except for the picture frames, candle holders, and candles.
These last two pictures are from the first project Dr. HokieKev and I took on. With all the supposed upgrades in our new house, the showerheads were surprisingly less than mediocre. We figured it would be an easy fix. Six pieces of hardware, a tube of plumbing putty, and three trips to Home Depot later- we have a spalike shower and were finally able to use the last wedding present still in the box. I was able to enjoy it once I washed all the putty off my arms.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Halloween 2008
Our first Halloween in Logan was fairly eventful. We did the whole hand out candy thing- Dr. HokieKev even manned the door- and then went to a party- Dr. HokieKev even dressed up. The kids in Utah are vastly different from the kids in Florida. In Florida, the kids saw my candy bowl as their own personal glutton pail and would take handfuls. I honestly don't blame them because I always buy good candy. I don't want to be the loser house that gives out lollipops and fruit flavored tootsie rolls. On the other hand, the kids in Utah are SUPER polite! They take one piece, say thank you, and are on their merry way. I had to go as far as telling them they could have as much as they wanted- I mean, fun size candy bars are more like bitesize- go ahead kis, take a few more. We still had a huge bowl leftover- maybe I was a little overzealous this year.
After trick or treating we headed over to Chris's for a Halloween party. It was a great place to get rid of the excess cupcakes I made for work. Anyway- here are some pictures. As always, click the picture to see the rest!
I will leave you with a story from last Halloween- keep in mind that people in Florida are a different breed of special.
Location: My front door, Halloween night 2007
::Doorbell rings:
Trick or Treaters: TRICK OR TREAT
Me in my head: Shouldn't these kids be in bed right now, I mean they are like 3 and 6 and it is almost 9:30 pm. They must be transplants. (You see we live in a tidy little upper middle class neighborhood where it is more than safe to walk around after dark, yet these people were in a car.)
Me out loud: Happy Halloween are you guys having fun?
Some older lady running out of her car: OH Thank you SO much for staying up for us, you look like you are almost out, you should give us all of it! :Shoves kids out of the way and bag into my face:
ANOTHER older lady in a bathrobe: I'm pregnant, no need for a costume!
Me in my head: OHM WTF!!!
::Gives candy to kids and weirdo grownups::
Pregnant lady: Oh, this bag is for my daughter. She couldn't make it tonight, she isn't due until January!
::Dumps rest of nasty chewy SweeTarts into the bag for the fetus, blows out pumpkins and turns off the light::
Upon my return inside, I literally fell onto the couch laughing. I have never been pregnant or had a child, but I am pretty confident in saying that newborns cannot eat candy. Its one thing when parents take their cute little infants around trick or treating because they are cute in those little costumes. But to trick or treat for a fetus??? They must be a product of the Florida public school system!
After trick or treating we headed over to Chris's for a Halloween party. It was a great place to get rid of the excess cupcakes I made for work. Anyway- here are some pictures. As always, click the picture to see the rest!
I will leave you with a story from last Halloween- keep in mind that people in Florida are a different breed of special.
Location: My front door, Halloween night 2007
::Doorbell rings:
Trick or Treaters: TRICK OR TREAT
Me in my head: Shouldn't these kids be in bed right now, I mean they are like 3 and 6 and it is almost 9:30 pm. They must be transplants. (You see we live in a tidy little upper middle class neighborhood where it is more than safe to walk around after dark, yet these people were in a car.)
Me out loud: Happy Halloween are you guys having fun?
Some older lady running out of her car: OH Thank you SO much for staying up for us, you look like you are almost out, you should give us all of it! :Shoves kids out of the way and bag into my face:
ANOTHER older lady in a bathrobe: I'm pregnant, no need for a costume!
Me in my head: OHM WTF!!!
::Gives candy to kids and weirdo grownups::
Pregnant lady: Oh, this bag is for my daughter. She couldn't make it tonight, she isn't due until January!
::Dumps rest of nasty chewy SweeTarts into the bag for the fetus, blows out pumpkins and turns off the light::
Upon my return inside, I literally fell onto the couch laughing. I have never been pregnant or had a child, but I am pretty confident in saying that newborns cannot eat candy. Its one thing when parents take their cute little infants around trick or treating because they are cute in those little costumes. But to trick or treat for a fetus??? They must be a product of the Florida public school system!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Check Montana off the List
A few weeks ago, Dr. HokieKev's mom and Mike came for a visit. We all decided to take a trip to Yellowstone. Let me just say that four adults in one car for 8 hours is less than stellar. Good thing I convinced Dr. Hokiekev to channel his inner gas guzzler and choose to take the Explorer over the Civic- my legs were squished as it was and I have short legs. So anyway, we left early Friday morning (begrudgingly on my part- I am not an early morning type of person) and began our trek to Montana. A million hours and a couple naps later, we arrived in the state of Brian Schweitzer. After checking into the hotel, we proceeded to venture into Yellowstone. Well...no one told us that everything in Yellowstone shuts down for the season- not the winter season- just "the season" between when the summer tourists leave and the skiing/snowmobiling crowd arrives. After driving 15 minutes into the park, Dr. HokieKev realized we should have stopped for gas lest we sleep with the elk- so we turned around, headed back out, got gas, turned back around, and proceeded back into the park. The next two days we spent enjoying both Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons. The pictures below prove that I do not follow directions very well. (Click on the picture to see the rest)
Friday, October 31, 2008
One movie I guess I won't be seeing
Leave it to Utah to decide for me that I do not want to be morally corrupted. One of the larger movie theater chains in the state has apparently banned the movie "Zack and Miri Make A Porno" from its screens. You can read the story here if you so desire. Following lead, many other movie theaters are also not showing the movie and some TV stations won't advertise it. I find this pretty ridiculous how the movie is not a porno, doesn't show a porno, and is apparently void of any pornographic material. The rationale was the movie was very close to receiving an NC-17 rating. It did not, it is, in fact, rated R- a perfectly respectable film rating. I have been watching R rated movies since I was 10- I haven't turned into a pyschopath, a sex fiend, or a drug adict.
I guess during the showing of High School Musical 3- a neatly packaged, G rated, Disney movie- some movie theater worker guy reeled up the wrong movie and subjected the audience of children to the movie "Sex Drive" for a few minutes. Since then everyone has been in a moral tizzy. Well:
Dear Utah,
The laziness/stupidty/mistake of one theater working high school student is not my fault. Are you meaning to tell me that none of the adults in the room thought something was wrong when the previews were for other R rated movies instead of sugar pop, Disney ones? Maybe the parents of said HSM3 viewing children should have been more aware to the fact that, right before the movie began, a rating flashed on the screen saying the following movie is rated R please remove your impressionable, young children from the theater.
It is really my choice as to what movies I want to watch- whether it be a cute little Disney flick or a movie about two roommates making a porno- yeah, up to me to decide- I am a grownup, thanks! Here is a thought, if you don't want the young and impressionable to wonder into an R rated movie- look at their IDs when they buy the tickets. Not too difficult, I used to do it all the time. Or even better, show the morally lacking films later in the evening when said young and impressionable should be snuggled nicely into their little, sheltered beds.
Isn't it enough that the Salt Lake City NBC station will not carry Saturday Night Live? I guess TV-14 is too scandalous for late night television. I mean, you carry all those daytime soaps. But then again, I guess daytime soaps fall under the realm of fiction. Once again, I am a grownup and I am fully capable of choosing my own television programs. You really must think people in this state are dumb if you think one little late night show is going to indoctrinate them with crazy ideas.
And while we are at it, was it really necessary to ban Mike's Hard Lemonade? Does it really look that much like Sprite? Is the under 21 crowd in Utah that stupid? Can parents not tell the difference? Do they mistakenly give their kids Malt Liquor instead of juice? Again- not my fault. Please do not punish my tailgate party due to the stupidity of others. I mean, I guess I could border jump to Idaho for all my tailgate needs. But then again, I am rarely in the mood for getting arrested for rum running- which I hear you do often.
On the other hand- maybe I should thank you, morally decent Utah, for saving my mind from corruption. Good luck repairing it from the last 27 years.
Sincerely Yours,
The Apparently Morally Deficient
I guess during the showing of High School Musical 3- a neatly packaged, G rated, Disney movie- some movie theater worker guy reeled up the wrong movie and subjected the audience of children to the movie "Sex Drive" for a few minutes. Since then everyone has been in a moral tizzy. Well:
Dear Utah,
The laziness/stupidty/mistake of one theater working high school student is not my fault. Are you meaning to tell me that none of the adults in the room thought something was wrong when the previews were for other R rated movies instead of sugar pop, Disney ones? Maybe the parents of said HSM3 viewing children should have been more aware to the fact that, right before the movie began, a rating flashed on the screen saying the following movie is rated R please remove your impressionable, young children from the theater.
It is really my choice as to what movies I want to watch- whether it be a cute little Disney flick or a movie about two roommates making a porno- yeah, up to me to decide- I am a grownup, thanks! Here is a thought, if you don't want the young and impressionable to wonder into an R rated movie- look at their IDs when they buy the tickets. Not too difficult, I used to do it all the time. Or even better, show the morally lacking films later in the evening when said young and impressionable should be snuggled nicely into their little, sheltered beds.
Isn't it enough that the Salt Lake City NBC station will not carry Saturday Night Live? I guess TV-14 is too scandalous for late night television. I mean, you carry all those daytime soaps. But then again, I guess daytime soaps fall under the realm of fiction. Once again, I am a grownup and I am fully capable of choosing my own television programs. You really must think people in this state are dumb if you think one little late night show is going to indoctrinate them with crazy ideas.
And while we are at it, was it really necessary to ban Mike's Hard Lemonade? Does it really look that much like Sprite? Is the under 21 crowd in Utah that stupid? Can parents not tell the difference? Do they mistakenly give their kids Malt Liquor instead of juice? Again- not my fault. Please do not punish my tailgate party due to the stupidity of others. I mean, I guess I could border jump to Idaho for all my tailgate needs. But then again, I am rarely in the mood for getting arrested for rum running- which I hear you do often.
On the other hand- maybe I should thank you, morally decent Utah, for saving my mind from corruption. Good luck repairing it from the last 27 years.
Sincerely Yours,
The Apparently Morally Deficient
Friday, October 24, 2008
Guess I Didn't Think That One Through
It really doesn't seem right that the most decorated rooms in our house are areas used mostly by other people. I get why I started with the bathrooms- they are so much smaller and easier than all the other rooms- but I still don't understand how the guest bedroom ended up with nicer bedding than the master. Hopefully, that problem will be remedied by the end of the year (although the most beautious of all the beddings is no longer on sale for the "lowest price of the season" causing the price to almost double). I wish we had Marshall's as they often have the aforementioned beautious bedding for a fraction of the cost.
Anyway, several weeks ago I did make the trek to Salt Lake and I did buy lovely, lovely things for the guest bedroom. The bedding below is from Linens and Things. I almost through a hissy fit when I found out they were, in fact, closing all the remaining stores but remained calm after I found out this comforter set was not on sale. The little brown pillow in the middle is from TJ Maxx. I still need something for over the bed, aside from the awful mirrored headboard. I have something in mind- it is just a matter of finding something that matches the picture.
Anyway, several weeks ago I did make the trek to Salt Lake and I did buy lovely, lovely things for the guest bedroom. The bedding below is from Linens and Things. I almost through a hissy fit when I found out they were, in fact, closing all the remaining stores but remained calm after I found out this comforter set was not on sale. The little brown pillow in the middle is from TJ Maxx. I still need something for over the bed, aside from the awful mirrored headboard. I have something in mind- it is just a matter of finding something that matches the picture.
Here is the dresser. Ignore the fact that it is white and gold and shiny and horrible. It also has a shiny mirror that goes above it which I have banished to the closet. I will be looking for something more suitable to go on this wall as well.
Here is an up-close of the candles on the side of the dresser. I placed some brochures on the other side so people could see what there is to do in these parts when they are visiting. I got the candles and stands at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and the plate and orbs at this store called Tai Pan Trading which is quite possibly the Mecca of well priced decorations.
The guestroom also sports a wardrobe and bedside table that match the shiny dresser. I am trying to decide what, if anything I can go to remedy the shininess- or at least if I am capable enough to make a headboard that isn't a mirror. Until then, I will just keep reminding myself that the shiny furniture was free.
So there is your first look into our house, my fives and fives of readers. I really didn't think it through very well but at least now people will have a nice place to live when they come visit. So I think they all should come visit...
So there is your first look into our house, my fives and fives of readers. I really didn't think it through very well but at least now people will have a nice place to live when they come visit. So I think they all should come visit...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The (Almost) Ace of Cakes
There are a lot of things in life I think I can do fairly well. There are other things in life that I get extremely overzealous about- making cakes is one of these things. I am usually pretty good at it...although the cake in life never truly matches the cake in my head, they usually end up tasting pretty good and I guess, in the end, that is all that matters. With this in mind, let's take a tour of some of the cakes I have overzealously attempted.
This is Dr. HokieKev's favorite. I make it at Thanksgiving. I don't know why I picked Thanksgiving because it doesn't really have that "I just got off the Mayflower and made friends with the natives" kind of feel, but nevertheless, it is a Thanksgiving cake. It is also a Flourless Chocolate Cake- AKA The Densest Thing Ever. I only make it at Thanksgiving because it takes forever and is completely from scratch. I have been asked on several occasions where I bought it. Please ignore the fact that it is slightly unbalanced. Flourless cakes don't bake evenly.
I also attempted this cake last Thanksgiving. Too bad I forgot that Mousse had to congeal overnight. I almost cried when I had to throw it away. What a waste of Nutella that was...
I made this cake last year at Christmas. Red Velvet with Homemade Cream Cheese Frosting. It was delish and screamed CHRISTMAS!
This one was made for the SuperBowl. It took FOREVER to stencil on that Patriots guy. The cake was good. The Patriots lost. I was picking sprinkles off the floor for days.
I went a little overboard with the pink frosting flowers on this one. Nevertheless, once the real live flowers were removed, it tasted great.
And now to the latest creation- I made this golf cake for Mike's birthday. The top looks great- the sides, not so much. I guess you have to be REALLY careful with the consistency of homemade frosting. I will take comments on what the brown "hole" is. Kevin's mom thought it was the reason that I thought the cake looked bad....
In reality, the reason the cake was a disaster was because the third layer kept slipping and sliding on its chocolate fudge frosting. I ended up having to cut around the sides to make it even. Then the green icing decided it wanted to play slip and slide too. Oh well, taste great! And, after 5 days, I managed to get the green out of the icing tools, the counter tops, my fingers, my tshirt, the floor...well, you get the idea!
I do wish someone would remind me the next time I go to bake a cake that I am not, in fact, the Ace of Cakes, and should maybe just stick to two layers. But, then again, I probably won't listen...
This is Dr. HokieKev's favorite. I make it at Thanksgiving. I don't know why I picked Thanksgiving because it doesn't really have that "I just got off the Mayflower and made friends with the natives" kind of feel, but nevertheless, it is a Thanksgiving cake. It is also a Flourless Chocolate Cake- AKA The Densest Thing Ever. I only make it at Thanksgiving because it takes forever and is completely from scratch. I have been asked on several occasions where I bought it. Please ignore the fact that it is slightly unbalanced. Flourless cakes don't bake evenly.
I also attempted this cake last Thanksgiving. Too bad I forgot that Mousse had to congeal overnight. I almost cried when I had to throw it away. What a waste of Nutella that was...
I made this cake last year at Christmas. Red Velvet with Homemade Cream Cheese Frosting. It was delish and screamed CHRISTMAS!
This one was made for the SuperBowl. It took FOREVER to stencil on that Patriots guy. The cake was good. The Patriots lost. I was picking sprinkles off the floor for days.
I went a little overboard with the pink frosting flowers on this one. Nevertheless, once the real live flowers were removed, it tasted great.
And now to the latest creation- I made this golf cake for Mike's birthday. The top looks great- the sides, not so much. I guess you have to be REALLY careful with the consistency of homemade frosting. I will take comments on what the brown "hole" is. Kevin's mom thought it was the reason that I thought the cake looked bad....
In reality, the reason the cake was a disaster was because the third layer kept slipping and sliding on its chocolate fudge frosting. I ended up having to cut around the sides to make it even. Then the green icing decided it wanted to play slip and slide too. Oh well, taste great! And, after 5 days, I managed to get the green out of the icing tools, the counter tops, my fingers, my tshirt, the floor...well, you get the idea!I do wish someone would remind me the next time I go to bake a cake that I am not, in fact, the Ace of Cakes, and should maybe just stick to two layers. But, then again, I probably won't listen...
Thursday, October 16, 2008
And the winner is....
Joe the Plumber!
If you watched the debate last night, you were sure to get an earful of "Joe the Plumber." All in all, he was mentioned over two dozen times by both McCain and Obama. So who, you may wonder, is this "Joe the Plumber?" Apparently, he is real, his name is Joe Wurzelbacher, and he is a plumber. Some stats:
In news unrelated to "Joe," McCain opened the debate by giving a shout out to Nancy Reagan. She fell the other day and fractured her pelvis. She is also homies with John McCain. The pundits gave him a point for that one. Roland Martin, in fact, was playing fast and loose with the points last night. He gave 50+ positive points to Obama alone. David Gergen, on the other hand, fell asleep after the first five minutes. John King was busy downloading more iTunes.
McCain went as far as telling America that nobody likes taxes so "Let's not raise anybody's taxes, Ok?" That's cool. I don't know anybody that likes taxes either. But I do know people who like things like funding for education and roads and other such necessary programs. I want to know where McCain is going to get the money to fund programs without raising taxes or at least keeping them the same. Seriously Johnny Boy, where are you going to come up with this money for these so-called helpful programs if you stop taxing people? Oh, Oh, I know, I know- we can just print more paper or borrow it from China! Yeah, China loves to loan us money. Once again I will say that it is a really good thing we have a strong military so that China doesn't hop over the ocean and try to take their money back.
I mean, we already have a $455 BILLION deficit- that is expected to be over $1 TRILLION next year- so why not add a few more billion, no one will notice. McCain does think he can balance the budget in four years. He was all like, "What, like it's hard?" (to quote Legally Blonde 2). He plans to do this while ending dependence on Middle Eastern and Venezuelan oil and unleashing plans to fix the economy and capture Osama Bin Laden all in his first term. Canadian oil is apparently ok- I think becasue the Canadians don't hate us. Obama never got a chance to answer the budget balancing question but he does take a more realistic approach on ending American dependency on foriegn oil as he thinks it will probably take ten years.
The healthcare issue is a debacle. Both plans are weird and probably won't work. McCain said he was a federalist and believes that decisions on alot of stuff should be left up to the states. Maybe he should write some new Federalist Papers to try to convince people of his views- hey, it worked before. Obama is apparently pro-abortion. I'm sorry but pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion. Once again, I don't know anyone who wakes up in the morning thinking-hey, let's go kill some babies today. McCain thinks judges should be confirmed based on qualifications not political leanings. Last I checked, judges weren't supposed to have political leanings. My dad isn't even allowed to put a school board candidates sign in the front yard. Obama is guilty by association- didn't you know he hangs out with shady people, or at least people who did shady things when he was 8. McCain had an angry moment. Obama did his best not to laugh at times- even when John McCain was going on and on about how proud he was of Sarah Palin... you would have thought she was his child or something.
Obama managed to not say one negative thing about Sarah Palin though. Even when asked directly if he thought she is qualified to be President. McCain referenced Biden wanting to split Iraq into three countries when answering the same question. I think McCain needs a world history lesson. Iraq (and most of the Middle Eastern countries) is only a country because after WWII, the US and its Allies said it world be. The ethnic groups hate each other and always have. Hey, I have a novel idea- why don't we let the people of Iraq decide how many countries they want to be? That might just work.
McCain also wants to start or expand some Troops to Teachers program where members of the military could be teachers without completing certification or state testing requirements. Ugh...that can be another story for another day. Now I must go home and hope that the cake I baked last night somewhat resembles what I left it as.
If you watched the debate last night, you were sure to get an earful of "Joe the Plumber." All in all, he was mentioned over two dozen times by both McCain and Obama. So who, you may wonder, is this "Joe the Plumber?" Apparently, he is real, his name is Joe Wurzelbacher, and he is a plumber. Some stats:
- 34 year old male
- Resident of Holland, Ohio
- Works for Newell Plumbing and Heating Co.
- Registered to vote as Samuel Joseph Worzelbacher- which is wrong
- Plays football in the front yard with his son
In news unrelated to "Joe," McCain opened the debate by giving a shout out to Nancy Reagan. She fell the other day and fractured her pelvis. She is also homies with John McCain. The pundits gave him a point for that one. Roland Martin, in fact, was playing fast and loose with the points last night. He gave 50+ positive points to Obama alone. David Gergen, on the other hand, fell asleep after the first five minutes. John King was busy downloading more iTunes.
McCain went as far as telling America that nobody likes taxes so "Let's not raise anybody's taxes, Ok?" That's cool. I don't know anybody that likes taxes either. But I do know people who like things like funding for education and roads and other such necessary programs. I want to know where McCain is going to get the money to fund programs without raising taxes or at least keeping them the same. Seriously Johnny Boy, where are you going to come up with this money for these so-called helpful programs if you stop taxing people? Oh, Oh, I know, I know- we can just print more paper or borrow it from China! Yeah, China loves to loan us money. Once again I will say that it is a really good thing we have a strong military so that China doesn't hop over the ocean and try to take their money back.
I mean, we already have a $455 BILLION deficit- that is expected to be over $1 TRILLION next year- so why not add a few more billion, no one will notice. McCain does think he can balance the budget in four years. He was all like, "What, like it's hard?" (to quote Legally Blonde 2). He plans to do this while ending dependence on Middle Eastern and Venezuelan oil and unleashing plans to fix the economy and capture Osama Bin Laden all in his first term. Canadian oil is apparently ok- I think becasue the Canadians don't hate us. Obama never got a chance to answer the budget balancing question but he does take a more realistic approach on ending American dependency on foriegn oil as he thinks it will probably take ten years.
The healthcare issue is a debacle. Both plans are weird and probably won't work. McCain said he was a federalist and believes that decisions on alot of stuff should be left up to the states. Maybe he should write some new Federalist Papers to try to convince people of his views- hey, it worked before. Obama is apparently pro-abortion. I'm sorry but pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion. Once again, I don't know anyone who wakes up in the morning thinking-hey, let's go kill some babies today. McCain thinks judges should be confirmed based on qualifications not political leanings. Last I checked, judges weren't supposed to have political leanings. My dad isn't even allowed to put a school board candidates sign in the front yard. Obama is guilty by association- didn't you know he hangs out with shady people, or at least people who did shady things when he was 8. McCain had an angry moment. Obama did his best not to laugh at times- even when John McCain was going on and on about how proud he was of Sarah Palin... you would have thought she was his child or something.
Obama managed to not say one negative thing about Sarah Palin though. Even when asked directly if he thought she is qualified to be President. McCain referenced Biden wanting to split Iraq into three countries when answering the same question. I think McCain needs a world history lesson. Iraq (and most of the Middle Eastern countries) is only a country because after WWII, the US and its Allies said it world be. The ethnic groups hate each other and always have. Hey, I have a novel idea- why don't we let the people of Iraq decide how many countries they want to be? That might just work.
McCain also wants to start or expand some Troops to Teachers program where members of the military could be teachers without completing certification or state testing requirements. Ugh...that can be another story for another day. Now I must go home and hope that the cake I baked last night somewhat resembles what I left it as.
Monday, October 13, 2008
"The Straight Talk Express Lost a Wheel on That One"
With Sarah Palin back in Alaska keeping an eye on the Russians, John McCain once again took on opponent Barack Obama in a lovely debate. This one town hall meeting style- because apparently John McCain does well at town hall meetings. So anyway, after 45 minutes of rules- most of which were broken in the first five minutes of the actual debate- Tom Brokaw got the questioning underway. So, here are the top 10 things I learned from watching the second Presidential Debate- in no particular order of course.
1. AIG took their top earners on a $400,000 spa retreat- a week after being bailed out by the government. Maybe Dr. HokieKev and I should have bought that half million dollar house we couldn't afford four years ago so we could get bailed out too.
Dear AIG, I WANT MY MONEYBACK! kthxbai
2. We owe China a lot of money. A REALLY lot of money. Good thing we have a strong military so that China won't hop over the ocean and attack us to get their money back.
3. At least McCain and Obama agree on one thing- Warren Buffet is a smart dude. Maybe he should run for President. He MADE money this year. Even Bill Gates lost money.
4. Nailing down Obama's tax proposals apparently equals trying to nail Jello to a wall. I have never tried nailing Jello to the wall but I suppose epoxy may work better. In any case, maybe we should call off the election and let the two candidates Jello wrestle for the title. Fully clothed, of course.
5. John McCain has secret plans to fix the economy and capture Osama Bin Laden. He looks to Teddy Roosevelt as his hero, yet cannot accurately quote possibly the most famous thing he ever said. It is "SPEAK softly, but carry a big stick." Not walk softly, not talk softly. McCain also says "my friends" alot.
6. We have two new foreign policy doctrines to put on the AP Test- seriously, I think that is the only place foreign policy doctrines show up. The short versions- Obama Doctrine: It may not always be a national security issue, but moral issues will be at stake. The US can't do it all so they have to work with Allies in these situtations. McCain Doctrine: The only good is the US and the US should help when beneficial. I bet France is happy to know it is not good.
7. British military commander Sherard Cowper-Coles says there needs to be an "acceptable dictator" in Afghanistan. Wasn't Saddam Hussein the "acceptable dictator" in Iraq? Yeah, we see how well that turned out.
8. Neither candidate can answer a simple yes or no question. Case in point:
Brokaw: This requires only a yes or no. Ronald Reagan famously said that
the Soviet Union was the evil empire. Do you think Russia under
Vladmir Putin is an evil empire?
Obama: I think they have engaged in an evil behavior...(they) still have
nationalist impulses that are dangerous.
McCain: Maybe.
Last time I check, neither of these answers were yes or no. Guess it is a good thing Sarah Palin is on Russia Watch 2008.
9. According to John McCain, we should have stayed in Afghanistan longer in 1980 after we helped the Afghans get the Russians out. Had we stayed the Taliban wouldn't have resurfaced. I mean, its not like we gave the Taliban the guns to fight the Russians. (By the way, we did give the Taliban the guns to fight the Russians. We also gave them tanks and missiles.)
10. In order to energy independent withint 10 years, we need to have a JFK like attitude and just do it. I would like to remind both candidates that when JFK said we would be going to the moon in ten years, he backed it up with federally funded education programs in math and science. There were contests and prizes and lots of money being spent on research and development. If you want to be energy independent you really should think about funding programs that will make people want to go into the field. And that probably means raising taxes.
Just for good measure, let's add a couple more things learned.
11. "that one" is apparently a racist remark. I think it was just an old guy looking down on a young guy. Obama could have been purple and McCain would have said the same thing. Or maybe it was a senior moment.
12. Asking the American people to allow the government to cut certain programs as a way to sacrifice in a time of war is indeed asking them to make a sacrifice. After 9/11, good ole' G.W. asked the American people to go shopping. Spending money on consumer good is not quite the same sacrifice as when, during WWII, the government asked people to give up things like...oh I don't know...butter, sugar, and meat.
So, there is what I learned from the second Presidential Debate. Life lessons, all of them.
1. AIG took their top earners on a $400,000 spa retreat- a week after being bailed out by the government. Maybe Dr. HokieKev and I should have bought that half million dollar house we couldn't afford four years ago so we could get bailed out too.
Dear AIG, I WANT MY MONEYBACK! kthxbai
2. We owe China a lot of money. A REALLY lot of money. Good thing we have a strong military so that China won't hop over the ocean and attack us to get their money back.
3. At least McCain and Obama agree on one thing- Warren Buffet is a smart dude. Maybe he should run for President. He MADE money this year. Even Bill Gates lost money.
4. Nailing down Obama's tax proposals apparently equals trying to nail Jello to a wall. I have never tried nailing Jello to the wall but I suppose epoxy may work better. In any case, maybe we should call off the election and let the two candidates Jello wrestle for the title. Fully clothed, of course.
5. John McCain has secret plans to fix the economy and capture Osama Bin Laden. He looks to Teddy Roosevelt as his hero, yet cannot accurately quote possibly the most famous thing he ever said. It is "SPEAK softly, but carry a big stick." Not walk softly, not talk softly. McCain also says "my friends" alot.
6. We have two new foreign policy doctrines to put on the AP Test- seriously, I think that is the only place foreign policy doctrines show up. The short versions- Obama Doctrine: It may not always be a national security issue, but moral issues will be at stake. The US can't do it all so they have to work with Allies in these situtations. McCain Doctrine: The only good is the US and the US should help when beneficial. I bet France is happy to know it is not good.
7. British military commander Sherard Cowper-Coles says there needs to be an "acceptable dictator" in Afghanistan. Wasn't Saddam Hussein the "acceptable dictator" in Iraq? Yeah, we see how well that turned out.
8. Neither candidate can answer a simple yes or no question. Case in point:
Brokaw: This requires only a yes or no. Ronald Reagan famously said that
the Soviet Union was the evil empire. Do you think Russia under
Vladmir Putin is an evil empire?
Obama: I think they have engaged in an evil behavior...(they) still have
nationalist impulses that are dangerous.
McCain: Maybe.
Last time I check, neither of these answers were yes or no. Guess it is a good thing Sarah Palin is on Russia Watch 2008.
9. According to John McCain, we should have stayed in Afghanistan longer in 1980 after we helped the Afghans get the Russians out. Had we stayed the Taliban wouldn't have resurfaced. I mean, its not like we gave the Taliban the guns to fight the Russians. (By the way, we did give the Taliban the guns to fight the Russians. We also gave them tanks and missiles.)
10. In order to energy independent withint 10 years, we need to have a JFK like attitude and just do it. I would like to remind both candidates that when JFK said we would be going to the moon in ten years, he backed it up with federally funded education programs in math and science. There were contests and prizes and lots of money being spent on research and development. If you want to be energy independent you really should think about funding programs that will make people want to go into the field. And that probably means raising taxes.
Just for good measure, let's add a couple more things learned.
11. "that one" is apparently a racist remark. I think it was just an old guy looking down on a young guy. Obama could have been purple and McCain would have said the same thing. Or maybe it was a senior moment.
12. Asking the American people to allow the government to cut certain programs as a way to sacrifice in a time of war is indeed asking them to make a sacrifice. After 9/11, good ole' G.W. asked the American people to go shopping. Spending money on consumer good is not quite the same sacrifice as when, during WWII, the government asked people to give up things like...oh I don't know...butter, sugar, and meat.
So, there is what I learned from the second Presidential Debate. Life lessons, all of them.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The Quest for Clouds
So Friday night after my burrito and champagne dinner (no, they don't go together and no, I don't care), I vowed to awaken early and start the long drive to Salt Lake City around 9. Yeah, that didn't happen. I was awoken by a phone call at 9:30. It was cold. It was raining. I decided to trek down there anyway, as Dr. HokieKev was in Vegas and I was operating under the premise that at least my stimulation of the economy would lead to tangible goods instead of hours of entertainment dumping money into the casino industry. So off I went...a few hours late. It rained almost the whole way down. It was dark. People were idiots. And then, out of nowhere, a shining beacon of light emerged at the crest of the highway. A beacon so bright that I had to call Dr. Hokiekev, who was by now engrossed in a poker game somewhere, with the news of the wonder that had been brought to Utah. What, you may ask, could illicit such a reaction on this cold, wet, morning afternoon? Well, over the crest of the highway, I saw a billboard for this restaurant.
It was wonderful. If you have never been there- go, fast. They aren't everywhere but there are a TON in VA as the company started in Alexandria or Arlington or one of those other fancy Northern Virginia towns. Seriously, they have the best burgers ever and handcut Idaho fries. The lines are long but it is so totally worth it.
After my fantastic lunch, I set out to find some things to decorate my house. First on the list was a new bed set for the guest bedroom. I bought this in rust.
I also spent the better part of an hour looking at several different bedding options for my own bed. I had a list. I found each item on said list. They all felt scratchy. I already have a scratchy comforter. This is why you can't buy bedding online. So anyway, I bought the guest bedding and went along my merry way. Later in the day, I picked up some fancy brown sheets and a brown decorative pillow to go with the fancy bedding set. It is beautiful. It is also sad that the guest room bedding is much nicer than the bedding in our bedroom. For now anyways.
In an effort to remedy this, I have spent the better part of the morning looking for bedding online. I found this one at Linens and Things. I didn't feel it this weekend. It says it is 300 thread count. It probably isn't. Linens and Things lies. But it is pretty.
I really want this bedding. It is from Restoration Hardware and costs way more than any bedding should. It is from the Italian Framed Satin Collection.
Or this one...also Restoration Hardware. Also equaling the GDP of a small country. This one is from the Italian Tonal Piped Collection. I can't decide which one I like the best and have been coveting both for a very long while but just can't bring myself to spend over $800 on bedding.
I decided that I wasn't ready to stimulate the economy that much quite yet so I kept looking. I found this gem. I can't remember where it was from or what it was called. For this reason, I really, really like it. (edit: I remembered...JCPenny)
Then I hit up the hotel:collection at Macy's. That is the goal. I want my bed to feel like the cloud bed at the Ritz Carleton. I found two. The first is the Glacier bedding. The second is Tri Colorblock. Both are on sale.
I think out of all of them, this last one is my favorite. It looks like it could be in a hotel. I tried to reach through the computer screen to feel it but that didn't work. Macy's lies less about their thread counts, so I am trusting it isn't scratchy. Problem is, by the time you add the comforter, the bed skirt, two Euro shams, two quilted king shams, and the neckroll pillow it totals up to over $500 bucks- even at the "Lowest Price of the Season". Once again, the GDP of a small country. But I guess you get what you pay for...
It was wonderful. If you have never been there- go, fast. They aren't everywhere but there are a TON in VA as the company started in Alexandria or Arlington or one of those other fancy Northern Virginia towns. Seriously, they have the best burgers ever and handcut Idaho fries. The lines are long but it is so totally worth it.After my fantastic lunch, I set out to find some things to decorate my house. First on the list was a new bed set for the guest bedroom. I bought this in rust.
I also spent the better part of an hour looking at several different bedding options for my own bed. I had a list. I found each item on said list. They all felt scratchy. I already have a scratchy comforter. This is why you can't buy bedding online. So anyway, I bought the guest bedding and went along my merry way. Later in the day, I picked up some fancy brown sheets and a brown decorative pillow to go with the fancy bedding set. It is beautiful. It is also sad that the guest room bedding is much nicer than the bedding in our bedroom. For now anyways.In an effort to remedy this, I have spent the better part of the morning looking for bedding online. I found this one at Linens and Things. I didn't feel it this weekend. It says it is 300 thread count. It probably isn't. Linens and Things lies. But it is pretty.
I really want this bedding. It is from Restoration Hardware and costs way more than any bedding should. It is from the Italian Framed Satin Collection.
Or this one...also Restoration Hardware. Also equaling the GDP of a small country. This one is from the Italian Tonal Piped Collection. I can't decide which one I like the best and have been coveting both for a very long while but just can't bring myself to spend over $800 on bedding.
I decided that I wasn't ready to stimulate the economy that much quite yet so I kept looking. I found this gem. I can't remember where it was from or what it was called. For this reason, I really, really like it. (edit: I remembered...JCPenny)
Then I hit up the hotel:collection at Macy's. That is the goal. I want my bed to feel like the cloud bed at the Ritz Carleton. I found two. The first is the Glacier bedding. The second is Tri Colorblock. Both are on sale.
I think out of all of them, this last one is my favorite. It looks like it could be in a hotel. I tried to reach through the computer screen to feel it but that didn't work. Macy's lies less about their thread counts, so I am trusting it isn't scratchy. Problem is, by the time you add the comforter, the bed skirt, two Euro shams, two quilted king shams, and the neckroll pillow it totals up to over $500 bucks- even at the "Lowest Price of the Season". Once again, the GDP of a small country. But I guess you get what you pay for...Friday, October 3, 2008
Are You Smarter Than a High School Junior: Constitution Edition
In order to educate the masses and provide future reference, I feel compelled to tell the world that the Constitution gives hardly any power whatsoever to the Vice President of the United States. Dude has two jobs: 1) Serve as President of the Senate and break any ties and 2) inquire daily as to the health of the President. That is it. No real executive power whatsoever. No real legislative power either. Other than breaking ties and The State of the Union, the Vice President rarely graces the floor of the Senate. That is what the President Pro Tempore of the Senate is for. It used to be Strom Thurmond, but he was old- and died. The current one is Robert Byrd. He is 90 and used to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan. He gave a wonderful speech on dogfighting.
So contrary to what the hockeymom would have you believe, the Vice President has no real legislative role at all. They don't get to make laws. Maybe she should have read a high school government book before the debate last night. Seriously. I guess, if you want to get technical, the Vice President can preside over the Senate everyday- and maybe that was the original intent- but that is not what happens in real life. It is kinda like being the Congressional delegate from Guam...you can show up, you can talk for three days, but in the end you don't get to vote.
So there is your civics lesson for today. In addition, the President of Iran's last name is Ahmadinejad- say it with me, AH-MA-DIN-NA-JAD. THERE IS NO K!
So contrary to what the hockeymom would have you believe, the Vice President has no real legislative role at all. They don't get to make laws. Maybe she should have read a high school government book before the debate last night. Seriously. I guess, if you want to get technical, the Vice President can preside over the Senate everyday- and maybe that was the original intent- but that is not what happens in real life. It is kinda like being the Congressional delegate from Guam...you can show up, you can talk for three days, but in the end you don't get to vote.
So there is your civics lesson for today. In addition, the President of Iran's last name is Ahmadinejad- say it with me, AH-MA-DIN-NA-JAD. THERE IS NO K!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
To Keep My Feet Warm...
I must procure these boots.
I honestly don't care how ugly you think they are. I love them and they will keep my feet warm! That is all.
I honestly don't care how ugly you think they are. I love them and they will keep my feet warm! That is all.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Get Up Outta My Grill
Maybe all places are a little strange and I am just starting to notice it more or maybe Utah is just a weird place. And this is aside from the fact that they have outlawed malted girlie beverages for looking too much like Sprite. Seriously, if your kid is going to get drunk, they are going to get drunk and it doesn't matter whether or not the product looks like Sprite. But anyway...
I have notice int he last few months that they people here like to be very close. I guess it makes since with all the procreating they do out here that they like to be close because, after all, in order to procreate you must get pretty close and that is fine...get close with your spouse. Get close with your friends. Get close with people you are acquainted with. But please, for the love of Pete, stop trying to get close with me. I don't know you- get out of my grill.
You all know the type of people I am talking about- the ones that stand so close to you when they talk that you can see the remnants of their last meal. It is very annoying. Personal space please! When it comes to the close talker, you can at least take a step back in most normal circumstances. But the close line stander is a whole different story. Lately, I have noticed that people out here like to get thisclose when standing in line. I mean, it is one thing if you are in a crowded amusement park or trying to watch the 4th of July fireworks in Boston but it is an entirely different thing to get all up in my business when standing in line at Kohls. When you are standing in line, there is nowhere to go. You can't step forward or you will be too close to the person in front of you. You can't step backwards or you will be even closer to the space encroacher. You can't step sideways or you will be out of line. It is a lose lose situation and you are stuck standing there with Mr. Space Encroacher moving in.
Maybe it is just me but I really don't like the feeling of some stranger breathing down my neck when I am trying to purchase fine home furnishings at a discounted price. So please, Mr. Space Encroacher, take a couple steps back.
I have notice int he last few months that they people here like to be very close. I guess it makes since with all the procreating they do out here that they like to be close because, after all, in order to procreate you must get pretty close and that is fine...get close with your spouse. Get close with your friends. Get close with people you are acquainted with. But please, for the love of Pete, stop trying to get close with me. I don't know you- get out of my grill.
You all know the type of people I am talking about- the ones that stand so close to you when they talk that you can see the remnants of their last meal. It is very annoying. Personal space please! When it comes to the close talker, you can at least take a step back in most normal circumstances. But the close line stander is a whole different story. Lately, I have noticed that people out here like to get thisclose when standing in line. I mean, it is one thing if you are in a crowded amusement park or trying to watch the 4th of July fireworks in Boston but it is an entirely different thing to get all up in my business when standing in line at Kohls. When you are standing in line, there is nowhere to go. You can't step forward or you will be too close to the person in front of you. You can't step backwards or you will be even closer to the space encroacher. You can't step sideways or you will be out of line. It is a lose lose situation and you are stuck standing there with Mr. Space Encroacher moving in.
Maybe it is just me but I really don't like the feeling of some stranger breathing down my neck when I am trying to purchase fine home furnishings at a discounted price. So please, Mr. Space Encroacher, take a couple steps back.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Flashback to the HPT
Dear Kid in Beat Up Honda Prelude,
You may think you are cool pulling up next to girls at stop lights in your beat up old Honda Prelude with your shiny, spinny rims and revving the engine and beeping our horn but in reality you look like an idiot that spent more money on his rims than on his actual car. Seriously, they stopped making Honda Preludes in 2001. A Wikipedia search discovered that yours probably originated somewhere between 1983 and 1987. That means you probably weren't even born when your car was made. How do I know this- well, Wikipedia told me so and we all know that if it is on Wikipedia, it must be true. Besides, your car had that whole boxy thing that was so popular in the 80s going on. I mean, you could maybe sell the thing for $1500- if you are lucky. That is actually being pretty generous considering Kelly Blue Book doesn't even value cars from 1987. The rims alone probably cost you $1000- and that is being conservative. Never mind the super cool racing stripe you had painted down the side. In all actuality, those rims could have cost you way more. I know, I am from the HPT- people rice out Geo Metros...talk about a waste of money. I have seen these POS cars blinged out beyond recognition. Trust me, they don't look cool and neither do you. Your money would have been better spent adopting one of those TV kids who is in need of shoes and toothpaste.
Sincerely,
The Girl Stopped Next to You Who Doesn't Care How Much Your Rims Were
You may think you are cool pulling up next to girls at stop lights in your beat up old Honda Prelude with your shiny, spinny rims and revving the engine and beeping our horn but in reality you look like an idiot that spent more money on his rims than on his actual car. Seriously, they stopped making Honda Preludes in 2001. A Wikipedia search discovered that yours probably originated somewhere between 1983 and 1987. That means you probably weren't even born when your car was made. How do I know this- well, Wikipedia told me so and we all know that if it is on Wikipedia, it must be true. Besides, your car had that whole boxy thing that was so popular in the 80s going on. I mean, you could maybe sell the thing for $1500- if you are lucky. That is actually being pretty generous considering Kelly Blue Book doesn't even value cars from 1987. The rims alone probably cost you $1000- and that is being conservative. Never mind the super cool racing stripe you had painted down the side. In all actuality, those rims could have cost you way more. I know, I am from the HPT- people rice out Geo Metros...talk about a waste of money. I have seen these POS cars blinged out beyond recognition. Trust me, they don't look cool and neither do you. Your money would have been better spent adopting one of those TV kids who is in need of shoes and toothpaste.
Sincerely,
The Girl Stopped Next to You Who Doesn't Care How Much Your Rims Were
Monday, September 15, 2008
Are you Smarter than a High School Junior?
Sarah Palin isn't. All I am saying is that my high school kids knew what the Bush Doctrine was. They also knew the Monroe Doctrine and its equally as famous Roosevelt Corollary. On a good day, they may have been able to tell you the Truman and Eisenhower Doctrines.
Sure, high school juniors know alot about history that the average person may not know- especially the ones taking the AP classes. But I wouldn't exactly call someone who hopes to be the next VP of the USA an average person. I certainly don't expect her to know every foreign policy doctrine throughout history (although I probably should), but I do expect her to know the current administrations view...especially when it is her freaking party in power. SHEESH! I also expect her to pick it up quickly when Charlie Gibson does everything he can to bail her out even though I am sure she was FULLY prepped on the questions. Its not like her "people" weren't made well aware of the questions BEFORE the interview began. UGH!
To be fair, maybe they should ask Biden the same question. Even if he doesn't know the answer, I am sure he would do a better job of faking it. Just sayin'.
Sure, high school juniors know alot about history that the average person may not know- especially the ones taking the AP classes. But I wouldn't exactly call someone who hopes to be the next VP of the USA an average person. I certainly don't expect her to know every foreign policy doctrine throughout history (although I probably should), but I do expect her to know the current administrations view...especially when it is her freaking party in power. SHEESH! I also expect her to pick it up quickly when Charlie Gibson does everything he can to bail her out even though I am sure she was FULLY prepped on the questions. Its not like her "people" weren't made well aware of the questions BEFORE the interview began. UGH!
To be fair, maybe they should ask Biden the same question. Even if he doesn't know the answer, I am sure he would do a better job of faking it. Just sayin'.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Life Lesson #546- Lipsticked Pigs
So the word on the street is you can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig. Makes since to me but apparently it has certain peoples' panties in a bunch. So, I decided to to try it out for myself and since I am pig-less here in Utah, I did it the newfangled way- I used Google! Here it goes...
Step 1: Find Pig
Step 2: Find Lipstick. A nice shade of red I think- it will show up the best.
Step 3: Apply lipstick to pig. This could get a little difficult in real life so I wouldn't try it at home. Google Images, however, do not fight back.
Step 4: Analyze results. Let's see....curly tail, check. Snout, check. Hoofs, check. Still looks like a pig to me. A prettier pig, but a pig nonetheless. Maybe if I add some pearls, a dress, and J-Lo sunglasses....
Nope....still a pig.
Step 1: Find Pig
Step 2: Find Lipstick. A nice shade of red I think- it will show up the best.
Step 3: Apply lipstick to pig. This could get a little difficult in real life so I wouldn't try it at home. Google Images, however, do not fight back.
Step 4: Analyze results. Let's see....curly tail, check. Snout, check. Hoofs, check. Still looks like a pig to me. A prettier pig, but a pig nonetheless. Maybe if I add some pearls, a dress, and J-Lo sunglasses....
Nope....still a pig.
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